Murder He Wrote [ l.s ]

Adonis

-WARNING: DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND PANIC ATTACK (MAY BE TRIGGERING)-

//Posting this two days in advance because of all the positive feedback. A special thanks to andreazpanda for doing covers about my story and ArielTracey for shouting me out Xx

*EDITED*

Song Inspiration: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) -My Chemical Romance//

Harry had been lying aloft the door for hours now. Contemplating his choices, existence and purpose.

What's the point in living when you have nothing to live for?

But that's where he stopped himself, if he was to take his own life then what would L.T do to everyone he's come in contact with. He'd surely kill Niall, and no matter what Niall has done to him emotionally he would never wish death upon him.

You see, he cares. He cares to the point that he would go through depression, pain and abuse to protect and defend everyone, even if they have done him wrong. That's where the mix of emotional laceration and agony get to him.

He constantly fights battles in his head; trying to overcome his overwhelming sense of dejection. His mother told him this once, that he was a basket case waiting to implode. Then again, they said many things to him that were not true. He thinks maybe that's why it tortures him to lie.

It reminds him of his parents.

No they weren't absolutely degrading and ignominious to Harry. They just gave slight glances of disapproval that would make a void in his heart. His father would smack him for disappointments and forgetfulness. The occasional locking him in the gelid basement and lonely nights without food.

Maybe that's where Harry got his fear of basements and the dark from. But the real question would be why did he buy a home with a basement? Harry would say it's the only thing pulling him back into reality, that whenever he has a inkling of happiness he goes home and finds the basement. It resembles his father in some ways, always there, cold, and gloomy. Icy to the touch and horrifying. He could never escape.

Whenever Harry had panic attacks he would lock himself in the basement. He would repeat his mantra of 'I'm sorry' and rock back and forth in fear. It was his medication, per say. The basement could be the thing holding him back from life, he doesn't believe that though. A constant nagging in the back of his head that he wasn't good enough. That he'll always be second best.

That's when the pit of anger seeped through his veins.

Gemma never had to go to the basement, she was never beaten or starved. She was embraced and encouraged. Why couldn't they love me too? Questions like that are livid in Harry's mind. He wishes never to alienate his sister, he wishes that she would call him, maybe a text? No. She hasn't contacted him since he left for his university. Never gave a second inkling that she cared for him, but Harry always cared.

That's his fatal flaw, caring. He never could seem to stop, always giving extra money to people who needed it and sometimes to people who didn't need it at all. He could be there mortal enemy and still give into the trapping method of sympathy.

That's one of the reasons his father disliked him. He thought Harry had no back bone, that he could and would be walked over his whole life. He used to smack him to see if Harry would fight back, just an experiment, Harry never did.

But don't get everything twisted, his father showed some senses of compassion. He gave him a strong pat on the back when he accomplished his SAT's and a smile when Harry brought home a beautiful girl to introduce as his girlfriend. Maybe even a hug if his business partners were watching, he couldn't let them think he wasn't a loving father.