Atropa Belladonna (Book 2)

Chapter 5

It was going to happen. Anyone could have seen that. Carmen had predicted it all along. Any of our friends would have had to admit it if asked. Even I knew there was a door in our lives, it was there all along I had just never chosen to open it. As long as I left it closed things stayed in that suspended story that I loved. I felt I was always genuine, but perhaps I wasn't. Perhaps, I should have admitted to myself that I was lying too. Taking from the fabrication what I wanted. If had just been honest, then, maybe I could have carried on in that way forever.

One Saturday morning I was out working in my garden. In the two years that we'd lived in the house I'd slowly taken over several acres. I had cutting gardens and large plots of vegetable beds. I had planted a small orchard of plums, apples and pears for their blossoms as well as their fruit. I had a steady business of customers wanting floral arrangements for weddings, funerals and other events. I had many more customers in the Chicago area than I did in Sellwood. Word had spread about my work and I found myself spending all of my time filling orders when I wasn't with the children or Jeff. We also had two large greenhouses built so I could continue through the winter, only having to supplement my supply of flowers on occasion. I began to see that I could open a shop of my own and as the children grew older, I would be able to run my business, spending my time there managing things. I loved being in the greenhouses in the fall and winter, they were humid and held the scent of earth and fragrance of flowers. They were obscured by a row of hedges and trees so that the view from inside was a wooded border to our yards. It took a short stroll to get there from the house but the greenhouses were near enough to the guest cottage that I also spent some time cleaning it up and furnishing it so it too was an extension of our home. Although it seemed I was the only one who ever used it. If no one were home and I had been out gardening I'd go to the guesthouse and take a bath and then read on the couch that looked directly out to the greenhouses. The main house wasn't visible at all.

I also wanted the yard to be a magical place for the children. Often they ran out to the woods and had adventures in the wilder natural spaces where Charlie built forts, and now that Jeffery was four and a half he could join him, Charlie had a little partner who would do anything he Charlie told him to. It was Clara mostly who loved the garden rooms I'd created. She'd bring her dolls out to a shady spot under a pergola over which jasmine grew. Every time I walked through the little garden rooms, I thought of her, her precious face and smile. When had a seriousness when she sat the dolls on the cement benches or iron tables and chairs. She planned out elaborate dances for them and then had one doll put on a show for the remaining doll audience. Clara also meandered through each area of the garden some that I'd designed with open fields and only the borders with plantings of wildflowers and occasionally trees. She would run through the fields or I'd look out from the other side of the greenhouse and see her sitting just at the edge of the wildflower patches. She'd be out alone talking or singing and absentmindedly twirling a poppy or daisy between her fingers. Her red hair caught the sunlight and sitting there she looked like an illustrated page from a children's book.

I planted grapes and berries throughout the gardens, weaving them into other areas so the children could pluck fruit as they wished. One morning I was clearing out an area of brush so that I could have some hired help come and clear a path and pave it with gravel so that we might be able to get a small tractor down to the farthest ends of the garden. As it was, when we had to hire a grounds keeper they had to circle the dirt road on the other side of the property, coming through the alternate route to the guest house. It was difficult to navigate. Besides, I wanted to be able to attach a wagon and bring back vegetables of transport stakes and tools.

I turned and saw Jeff walking down through the grass towards where I was working. He was barefooted and walking carefully over the wet lawn. Before he reached me, he navigated a small patch of gravel. I couldn't help but laugh. He looked just the same as Charlie in that moment. I was a striking resemblance. The same light brown hair and blue eyes. I loved the rare occasion when Jeff ventured out of his role as the strict husband and father.