chapter four

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[A/N: the intros are done, so i'm stopping the 'raining in columbus' thing and hopefully making the chapters a bit longer]

{ashley's pov}
i stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. pale, exhausted, nervous... all adjectives that come to mind.
my hands are shaking. really badly.
my eyes are rimmed in red.
well, no shit. i've basically been crying nonstop.
i'm still in the hospital. they won't let me go.
colin visits.
my older brother.
he was dating her.
it still hurts to say her name.
why does it hurt?
it shouldn't hurt.
it's wrong
everything is wrong
w r o n g
w r o n g
i take a deep breath and push open the door to leave, preparing myself for the inevitable shitstorm about to happen when people realize i'm her best friend.
was
it's was now
not is
w a s
stop thinking.
am i mad?
probably.
(tbh)
joel is the first to approach.
"ashley," he gives me a warm, sympathetic smile.
she used to call me ashley.
literally everyone does, dipshit. it's your name.
i force a small smile at him as he pulls me into a hug and starts talking about what the service will be like. that's what i love about joel. he doesn't question the fact that i'm not talking- although it's more than likely colin explained- and he makes everyone feel welcome.
no wonder he's a pastor.
"ashley!"
david mccreary, host, comedian, magician, and semi-professional longboarder.
also, one of the best friends of tyler joseph and josh dun.
aka twenty one pilots.
aka my heroes.
anyway. back to david.
i slowly tuned back into reality to see david looking at me quizzically.
"lose your voice, girlie?"
before i can respond- or, not- his wife walks up and slides her arm through his. "pardon me, ashley, but i've gotta borrow dave for a sec," she said cheerfully. they always treated me like family, and their kids knew me as their cousin.
i jump as a hand is placed on my shoulder, and i spin around to see colin with a concerned look. "you good?"
i stare blankly at him.
he sighs.
i turn and walk away.
don't you just love siblings?
meaningless chatter fills my ears and i walk quickly towards the exit. i can't do this. not now. not so soon. maybe not ever. but mostly, not now.
walking out.
breathing hard.
bumping into someone.
looking up.
not breathing.
"sorry! are you okay?"
his hazel eyes, full of concern, glance down at me as water drips from his hair.
hello, josh dun.

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