Smashing Together

Wii Fit Trainer Gets in Shape!

(From Wii Fit Trainer's POV)

The day I moved from Wii Fit U with my brother, Male Fit Trainer, is what I imagine leaving for boarding school would feel like. It was quite a shock, too. One day, the letter inviting me to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS just came, right after I had finished with my students for the day. It was handwritten neatly, with frilly blue paper. It read:

Dear Wii Fit Trainer,

I personally invite you to Super Smash Bros for Nintendo 3DS as a fighter, your work these past years on Wii and Wii U have not been overlooked, putting many humans into shape. The 3DS however, is a weaker system than the Wii U. I hope you understand others are going through similar struggles. You may decline your invitation, but I advise you to take it. Pack your things, and a port will come to your game in three days precisely.

Your delighted game maker,

Masahiro Sakurai

Honestly I was surprised. Smash Bros characters were always important ones, like Mario or Pikachu. I kept doubting the letter, but I knew in my heart it really was Sakurai. My face must have run the gamut from freaked-out to delighted. Once in said delighted-mode, I was bouncing all around, and ran into my brother, still training his all-male class. (We gender divided)

"Male Fit! Male Fit! Omigod! I have been invited to... Smash 4! Yeeeee!" (That's like, you know, my happy squeal noise)

My brother calmly responded. "Wii Fit, I'm very happy for you, but, "Now begin your downward dog pose, guys!" "you know that the invitation applies to you, and not me. Don't worry about it, really! "Now, transition into upward dog!" "I mean, I know it's going to be hard for both of us, but I can handle both shifts. I mean, I didn't need to sleep anyway, heheh."

This was kind of another shock to me, as Male Fit and I never had any parents, and all we've ever done is run weight-loss courses. Whenever we had any time for anything else, (which was rare) we always were together. I couldn't accept this invitation. What about Male Fit? There's no way he could do men and women! (I don't think he'd want to.) Losing customers would suck. So, I sent Sakurai a letter about my problem, and he replied:

The lovely Wii Fit Trainer,

I very much understand what you are going through at this time. I think you may have misunderstood: you live at the Smash Hall! Everything is paid for. Oh, I get it, you don't want your brother to be overworked. Why, having him as a separate character, that would cause an uproar. Not to be racist, but you two would play exactly the same! Making him a skin of you is the best I can do. He won't fight much, but he is also formally invited to stay at Smash Hall this year, with a room, free meals, and the works.

The humble developer,

Masahiro Sakurai

I was even happier! Now, Male Fit Trainer can come with me! I packed one fresh pair of a blue crop top (not too short) that says Nintendo on it in white letters, black yoga pants, a giant pack of soccer balls, and a travel bench press set. Male Fit... didn't pack anything!

"I'm wearing all the clothes I need, and you took the balls and bench press thing." he said.

"Yes, but what will you wear on laundry day?" I inquired.

"Oh. Yeah, that might be important. I don't own any other clothes. I'll borrow some I suppose. Maybe Sakurai could clone me some clothes when we get there?" I gave up after that.

The port came in exactly three days, where a monkey in fancy clothes named Porter lifted us onto this thing called a Nintendo Network Cart. Porter tried to explain it to me, but it's all too high tech for me. It didn't take too long. 20 minutes from console to console. Not too shabby! We saw other Porters ferrying other people around on NNCs. I mean, like other monkeys in the same clothes, all named Porter.

"If you see a group of cute little boys and girls, tell them Porter said hi!" said Porter when he dropped us off.

I didn't know what he meant, but I had no time to think, as I saw the most amazing thing of my life.

Smash Hall was gigantic. I think it's the biggest thing in the universe. Then, a very hot Japanese man was walking out of Smash Hall, and everyone turned their heads towards him. I knew he was important. Then, he stood by the NNC Drop-Off area. His accent was very thick, and so I remember him like this in my memory.

"Hello newcomers of Dieronto Sumashu Burazazu fo Nintendo Suri-Di-Esu. I am Sakurai Masahiro. Yes, I'm still alive. I don't want to speak too long, but I hope you have a best time."

He was Sakurai! I knew my journey was just beginning.