12. The journal

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I mentally draw another tally mark as I wake up to the sunshine. It has been about a good 12 days since this whole kidnapping thing. It's been 5 days since Matt kissed me, then walked away as if it had been nothing. Which left me nothing but confused. What kind of person does that? Ever since, he's been slightly more distant and a bit awkward. At least the man acknowledges my presence. Other than the whole "teenage drama" a teenage high school girl would love to hear, there is serious drama here. Some guys who worked with Matt dropped by Ross's apartment demanding for answers on where me and Matt where. Thankfully he didn't say a word, but that resulted on them wrecking his home. The same thing happened with George except one of the workers were close to shooting him. I was the blame for all of it. No way am I able to live like this if people are getting threatened to be hurt. What if one of them were to tell the guys where we were? Where would we go next? Matt suddenly appears in the doorway, knocking on the door. Gripping onto a brown paper bag. He smiles then walks towards me and places the brown paper bag on the nightstand next to me.

"I'm sure you're starving so I brought you some breakfast." he states. I thanked him, opening the bag to see the breakfast sandwich and a Starbucks iced coffee, which had automatically won my heart. I quickly took mouthfuls like a vampire who hadn't had blood in years, causing Matt to chuckle. Well that wasn't embarrassing at all, I thought as I put the plastic cup down. Matty stared at me intensely making me look down at the sheets. This is awkward. Silence fell for ages until he cleared his throat. "Well..I'm going to go back into my bedroom. If you need anything just let me know." he said in a raspy quiet voice. Matt got up quietly as if he was trying not to wake up a new born baby and left in seconds. That's another thing, Matt sort of baby's me. He didn't have to go and buy me something to eat, when there's perfectly good food in the fridge. I do appreciate it though. I'm sure it might be just his way of showing that we're friends. Wait. That leads me to another question, what are we?

Home alone again. Matthew has left me once again, this time to go and get things for dinner and maybe a movie or something. Me being my little old me, I went into his room. Not much was here, since he was renting the place. I looked through everything trying to find one thing that will amuse me. There was one place I was hoping there would be something: the mattress. I walked towards it outlining the designs on his bed sheets then lifting the mattress to see a brown dusty journal. Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Seriously, I should consider becoming a detective. The latch on the front of the leather brown journal was unstrapped delicately. It read as I flipped through the random pages:

April 16, 2013 - I have no idea who I've become. I've made friends not knowing the consequences, but there's no way out of it. Why do I suddenly feel like this? She's just a random girl. I've been doing this for 2 years, and I've never cared. There was nothing more to care about. Then she came along and flipped my world upside down. How does that even happen? Once my boss finds out I've developed feelings for her..wait once? No he can't find out or else they'll go off with my head. All I need to do is my job; not to get distracted.

There was another, a week and a half later. The sloppy, quick handwriting made it a challenge to read.

April 25, 2013 - She's gone. She actually left. This is exactly what happens when you release your feelings. "I love you" was all it took for her to run off. I'M SO STUPID. I now know that there is no such thing as "love" or at least when it comes to me. I'm done trying...

He lied? I closed the journal placing it back where I had found it. They never took her, did they? Matt lied because he was broken.

Matt ate his noodles as he sat directly across from me causing me to do no more then stare at him. He looked up at me slowly then rose an eyebrow, mouthing 'what'. I shook my head not wanting him to think I'm a creep, although it should really be the other way. Matt's not really a bad guy I guess. The hair, the clothes, the tattoos just make him seem like he's not. Matt is much more than that, he's had such a bad past and that is probably why he's an atheist. That was another thing I read in the journal, he envys the faithful and their mentality. The cheap, curly noodles started to get cold in its plastic container, I thought as I take another bite. The quietness made my breathing heavy, well that's what I thought. Otherwise, all you would be able to hear is that stupid fly's buzzing. The room was different shades of blueish gray due to the cloudy sky outside.

"It won't be clear until another three days." Matt sighs with a sly smile on his face. I stare at him once again, this time in adoration. My eyes widen when I realize I must look like a creep. Now he's chuckling, great.

Matt has been a little too nicey, and it's starting to creep me out a little. Right now he's playing some notes on his guitar, singing about social implications and about always being the same. It was soon interrupted by the sound of glass breaking causing me to freeze in fright. You can tell Matty also heard it as his singing and guitar playing had came to an halt.

"Ariana?" he says, barely above a whisper. My door handle jingled, thank god it was Matt. Once he had opened it fully I started to freak.

"M-Matt.." I spoke out, my voice shaky and full of fright.

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