BED... NOW! (BoyxBoy)

Let's Not Fight Again Okay?

BS Chappie after this exclusive for those who are following me. Also check my new BOYXBOY "Double Penetration" Toodls.

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[Adrian's P.O.V]

                           Its been a week since Josh and I had that arguement about that thing. A week without a sun in my sky. A week without someone who will cheer me up. I think Josh made it pretty clear. He made me think that I really love him and I do. Its been a week and now , I realized that 'Yea , I freaking love this guy and I miss him.' He made me miss him and it made me love him even more. These past few days I would wake up and just stare at the ceiling , thinking what should I do when I meet my boss again. What should I say to make him talk to me again because its been a week without him talking to me. What's more disappointing is he never really looked at me or even say 'Good Morning slut , how's the hooking coming?' At least a little good morning right? But no. Even when I accidentally bump into him , he will just ignore it like nothing happens. When I put the paper works at his desk and not even a single 'Thank You' will come out. He will just distract himself from me. And its been a week of heartaches. I tried to ignore it but there's this night where I just burst everything out. I feel like I have no friends , I have no one to talk to. I kept thinking that this is just a break up and it will come back again. Its just a cool off and we're gonna be okay again. I'm very hopeful but he made me also think that its not even possible. But what can I do? He started to grow on me like he's a part of my body. It hurts but its my fault. I accepted my mistakes and I try not to do it again. 

                           These past few days , I did nothing but work work and work. I try to distract myself also. But its hard. I remember the things I said when I was just a newbie here in New York 'Focus my goal , to earn money and help parents to pay the bills.' Those things , I thought of them when it was just the start. But things have change , I'm also changing , I gained confidence a little and I start getting smart about things , street smarts. I can see how big is my improvement since day one. And I'm very proud of myself , I am starting to grow up and be mature , I'm starting to get out of my shell , realizing things that don't make sense when I was just a young teen. I'm starting to be someone else , not the cry-baby Adrian. I'm starting to fight my tears every single day but the more I keep it inside , the more it will get worse when it escapes my chest. All these weighs are gonna come out sooner or later. But for now , I just have to think and refresh. There comes a time when I thought it was just destined and bound to happen so I just have to deal with it. Tuck came out of the blue and maybe there's a reason why. 

                           I didn't expect that this would happen. That my first crush when I was a teen is related to my boyfriend now. That's a bummer. I start claryfying things. Christine who was Tuck's sister was Josh's ex and Tuck was my first love who was Josh's , I think , rival. Its like becoming an atomic bomb. I never met this Christine but according to Josh's story , she was a biatch. I don't know. I have to see it myself. I'm not saying that I don't believe Josh , its just that I am my mother's son and I grew up with a different perspective and I therefore believe that 'To see is to believe.' That's why I never believe in gossips. I always want to witness it myself , so that I don't have to gain any enemies. And if Christine is a true biatch then I guess I just have to deal with it.

                           Its Sunday today. The release of new volumes of Captain America comics. But I'm not really in the mood. Those little things that can make me happy then , makes me sad now. I remember Josh taking me to a store where they sell Marvel stuffs and somehow he bought me that shield. It means a lot for me , I don't really show it to him but inside , it means a lot more. I left it in Kansas and I regret that because that's the only thing that I think will cheer me up for now. I also remember those days when Josh asked me , 'Did you ever do something to make yourself happy?' And in that time , I answered 'I don't know.' But now. I think I know what makes me happy. Its him.