BED... NOW! (BoyxBoy)

We Have To Talk About Something

                             What's up gummy bears? Yass! I know I've been busy AGAIN. Geez, sometimes I even forget that I have a wattpad but your comments, your messages and your votes always remind me that I still have a book to update. HA! So yeah, how's life cupcakes?

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[Adrian's P.O.V]

                             It's 9 PM already and I figured out that he's not coming so I left the retaurant. I am so mad but at the same time worried. I wonder what happened to him? DId he bail? Or maybe he had an accident? Either way it makes me worried and angry. Walking out on that restaurant alone? People looked at me as if I was rejected. I was angry because it reminds me of my past relationships. Going back, spring in Kansas are the worst. It is where we have auctions. I always end up with a man and just when I thought it was perfect, they leave me because I have Parkinson's, which is another reason why I am worried and mad, maybe he gave up on me and decided to leave me. 

                             Because I am a weirdo.

                             I tried calling him but he's not answering his phone. It made me bit my lip harder than usual. I feel like I am that random guy in New York few months back. As I walk through the pavements, I felt like I was starting again. I felt scared, felt alone and felt rejected again. It broke my self-esteem. While it was heart wrenching, it's also intriguing because few hours you're full of confidence and next thing you find yourself crying. Well this is obviously sad. 

                             And the first tear came out. 

                             Even my ring is grey. So that's how it is. Oh hey! Rainbow on the ground! Wait. What? That's when my phone dropped from my hands because I lost grip. Half of my body felt numb and my arms started trembling causing me to bite my lips. I'm having a panic attack and having no one beside me makes it worse. Where's Josh when I needed him? Ugh! I should have controlled my emotions earlier.  

                            I sat at the pavements and clench my hands together as I breathe heavier than usual. It's a good thing that I am wearing a suit because if I'm not, the cold will kill me. I'm trying to contain my tremor with my clenched hands hoping for it to stop but the sooner I realized that my visions are blurring I saw a man's face in front of me. My visions are quite dark now so I can't comprehend who's the guy in front of me. I didn't have time to react, my whole body's too numb and I can't move that's when I know I drifted from the reality.

                            It's weird. Because whenever I start falling in love, the ones I love starts to leave me. I don't know if I'm gonna be glad or if I should just get mad. For all I know, God's planning all of this and he's saving me for someone special. But sometimes, divine interventions are doubtful. It will leave you alone and will make sure that you feel like shit. But is it your fault? Is it their fault? Is it his or her fault? Basically it's no one's fault. Human brain is full of confusion and false alarms that it seems indifferent anymore. I'm not making sense but it's okay. I'm lost. I'm having trouble keeping up. But it's okay. I bite my lips because I want to control myself from crying. It's not because I wanted to look cute. I get fooled many times but I don't care, because when you start realizing that they're fooling you, the ones they are fooling now is themselves. You made them think that they're actually smart when in reality, they are just plain stupid. Am I still making sense? How many times did I ask myself that? Should I wake up? But it feels so much better to be alone sometimes. No people to take care of. Now I feel ironically weird again, on the first line I'm talking about how sad it is to be alone, now I'm talking about how much fun it would be to be alone. Am I making sense? No. Wake up. No. Should I? Yes. Why? Because he's waiting? Who?