Paper Wishes (#1)

Chapter Seventeen: Firsts

The remainder of the week had flown by, mostly because I was so excited about my date with Nox. After school he'd dropped me off at home and told me he'd pick me up when it was time to go. I gave him a questioning look, raising my eyebrows.

"People don't normally live together when they first start dating, right? I thought it'd be more exciting if I did things properly." He grinned, obviously pleased with the idea.

"Will you give me some idea of where we're going so I know what to wear?"

"Nope, you'll just know. Trust me on this."

I sighed. Well, I'd figure something out because I wasn't leaving the house naked. I gave Nox a quick kiss before he drove off, headed toward his apartment to get ready for our date.

When I reached the top of the stairs I heard Kai in his room. "Hey," I said, "what's up?"

"Vilv, I'm so nervous. I haven't been on a date -ever." Kai looked sick – he was sweating and ashen.

"Don't worry, it'll be great! Nikki is super excited." That was actually an understatement - she was ecstatic. In a move that was very uncharacteristic of her, she'd been texting me every day to talk about her date, dying to know what Kai had planned for them tonight.

"You're going on your first date tonight, too," Kai observed. "Nikki told me."

"I am," I smiled, "maybe someday we can double date."

"Maybe," he said as he returned my smile. "Vilv... I don't want to make things awkward, but I wish it was us going on a date together."

"I know." My smile faltered a bit. "I know it may be a bit soon to say so," I said as I reached out to touch his face, intended as a comforting gesture, "but I really believe that Nikki is your happily ever after. You'll see it, too, if you give her a chance."

Kai bit his lip and then suddenly leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was intense, desperate. He ran his fingers through my hair before pulling away, what felt like minutes later.

"Kai..."

"I'm sorry, Vilv. I had to do it once. I couldn't let anyone else be my first kiss," he said softly and sadly.

When I looked at him, I saw a storm of emotions in his eyes. I knew that if he could, he would force himself to stop loving me that way to save himself from the hurt. But he couldn't, and he was doing the best he could to co-exist with Nox and I as a couple. My heart suddenly felt heavy because no matter what I did, it seemed like I was hurting someone.

***

As calmly as I could manage I had walked to my bedroom, closed the door, and slumped to the ground. My eyes burned with tears as I cried silently while sitting on the floor. Did we do the wrong thing, Nox and I, by setting Kai up with Nikki? Was it too soon? I wanted to help Kai move on, he deserved happiness.

Nikki had strong feelings for Kai, and I was sure that in a very short amount of time it could bloom into love. It was obvious that she was crazy about him - unlike Ann, who was just plain crazy. I shuddered at the thought of Ann, hoping that she was staying away from Kai now. Kai had known Nikki for years - as long as I had known her - because it was me that had brought her into our circle of friends. Granted she was always more my friend than his, he knew her well enough. I knew that given the opportunity Nikki would make flowers bloom in his heart, whereas I had caused him hurt that spread like weeds in a dying field by not loving him in return. Truly, unrequited love was the worst love of all.