Tortured Souls (On Hold)

Chapter 5

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It was getting close to the end of visiting hours now, but I wanted to ask my mom about the memory I had during my two hour nap.  I hadn’t expected to sleep that long, but I guess the toll of the whole experience with my mom was beginning to take hold of me.

I stopped suddenly in the doorway to my mom’s room.  A young man was sitting there in my chair and holding my mom’s hand.  I was angry that this stranger was here.  What business did he have interrupting my space and monopolizing time with my mom?  When I finally tuned into what was being said, I realized he was praying for her.  What the hell was going on?  Where did he come from?  Did he really think praying for her was going to help at this point?  I could feel my agitation building inside.  Part of me was curious about this stranger and what he was doing, but the majority of me was bristling with anger, resentment, and fear.

As he said “Amen”, he looked up at me and smiled.  He stood to make his introduction, but I just looked at my mom, so as to ignore him.

“I didn’t realize you had visitors other than me, mom.”

“Tati, this is Samuel.  He is from a local church that visits sick people here at the hospital.  I have been talking to him for the last week.”

Samuel moved from the opposite side of the bed to come and shake my hand.  I took a step backwards, and he stopped in mid stride.

“Hi Tatiana, it is nice to finally meet the young lady your mom is always talking about, I am Samuel Golding.”

I looked him over like he was a piece of shit stuck to my shoe.  I think he was getting the message loud and clear that I wasn’t much for company, especially the religious kind.

“I am here now, so you can leave”, I said with a hint of hostility.

He smiled.  What the hell was he smiling for?  He looked at my mom and said his good-bye, telling her he would be back tomorrow.

As he walked to the door, I had no choice but to back up to let him through.  As he exited the room, I took a moment to glare my disgust at him.

“You’re pretty than what your mom described to me”, he said with a smile that proved my death glare wasn’t working.

“I hope I get the chance to see you again tomorrow, and perhaps get to know you better,” he stated with a certainty like he knew it would happen whether I wanted it to or not.

“You cocky asshole.  What would make you think I have any desire to get to know you better?  If it were up to me, you wouldn’t pass through this doorway again.  So let’s just get that clear right now.  I don’t like you or what you represent, so I suggest you keep your distance and we should get along just fine.”

He just kept smiling.  I wanted to slap that smile off his face so hard my hand print would be tattooed to it.

“Do you understand me?” I was starting to raise my voice, and this wasn’t going to end well.

“Tatiana, I heard what you said, but more importantly, I am listening to all the things you don’t even realize you’re saying,” he stated with this calm assurance.

Now I was fuming.  I walked right up to his face and said, “The only thing you need to listen to, is that you aren’t welcome here.  Don’t even think you know me just because my mom has told you a few stories.  You don’t know shit about me, and you never will.  Get the hell away from me and my mother.”

That damn smile never left his face.  The demons were screaming in my head to stay away from this guy, but I couldn’t shake the smile.  How could he stand there and listen to me talk the way I did and just smile?  It was freaking me out more that he could possibly know.

I turned and fled to my mom’s bedside.  I was a wreck, but I had to shove that down and put on my façade for my mom.  I wasn’t going to let her get a toehold tonight too.

I guess I wouldn’t have to worry about that, she was sound asleep.  I took a few moments to step into her bathroom and down a few gulps of my drug of choice.  I needed to get myself under control.  I was shaking and I couldn’t get it to stop.  Tonight was going to be hell and I owed it all to a man I wanted to forget, but his smile was haunting me in a way that was even more distressing than the demon’s that were screaming inside my head.