I Miss Her [Jessie J]

Chapter 8 - 3rd April 2017 - Battle Round: If You Could See Me Now

*Emma's pov*

"Boo!" His voice echoed through my mind. A shiver ran down my spine as I thought I had heard my dad's voice through my in-ear. I had just had my microphone pack clipped onto me when I did hear it. I dismissed the voice and put it down to nerves - in a couple of minutes I would be performing on the stage against Elicia for my place to stay in the competition.

It was all a mad rush. I'd been through wardrobe several times and hair and make up. Not to mention every time I'd walked past Danny, he'd either pretend that I didn't exist or give me looks that would kill me if they could. I knew it was hurting Clair too. She'd been a bit distant ever since my audition. She'd always tell me off for worrying about her, her ability to read minds was so annoying sometimes, but I wouldn't be here without it or her.

My dad's voice spoke to me again, "You're going to do exactly as I say okay? If you freak out or tell anyone what's happening, you and your precious Jessica will wish you were never born." The voice threatened. I still couldn't decide if it was real or not. Several times in the past twenty two months I'd heard voices telling me I didn't deserve to live so I was used to it. I tried pushing it out of my mind but this voice was different.

None of the previous voices had ever threatened Jess. It was always my mind punishing me for what I'd done. It would never hurt Jess. It was psychological thing, I'd been told by my therapist.

Clair appeared by my side, "what's worrying you, Ems?" She asked.
"Oh er... nothing. I'm just nervous about performing." We spoke mentally.
"You're lying."
"I'm not."
"I can see what's going on in your mind, don't forget." Clair warned.
"Why are you asking me then?"
"Because it's rude to just delve into someone's mind and thoughts."
"I can't tell you because it'll get Jess in trouble."
"It's about your dad, isn't it? He's here somewhere. I can feel it."
I turned my head to face her, "what?"
"Your dad's here and whatever he's told you not to tell anyone he won't know you've told me."
"How can we be so sure?" I thought.
"Because we don't speak out loud." She replied. That was true.
"He said I have to do exactly what he tells me."
"What's that?"
"I don't know, he hasn't told me yet." I sighed.
"Just go out there and do your best. I'll keep an eye out for you."
"Thank you..."

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Performing in front of everyone was nerve wracking enough without my dad stirring up shit. I just wanted him to leave me alone, he wasn't helping with myself trying to get my life back on track. I was getting tired of this.

I could see Elicia walking up the steps on her side of the stage as her name was called out. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, I thought it was going to crash out of my chest through my rib cage. I jumped as my name was called and quickly composed myself as I carefully climes the steps onto the open stage.

As I stepped out into the light the whole audience cheered, making a small volume of my nerves turn into adrenaline, just like Jess had told us to do. I looked up to Jess and showed a small smile, who, in return, nodded at me. This filled me with more adrenaline until I saw a shadow move behind her chair.

"Hello sweetheart." My dad's voice spoke. "I think you know where I'm standing." I swallowed and looked over to Elicia before resuming my start position.
"It was February 14th, Valentine's Day
When the roses came and they took you a way.." Elicia started off the song slightly different to The Script as Elicia's version was more melodic.
"There's a button on the side of your mic." My dad whispered to me and I glanced down at it as I moved around the stage like Elicia and I had rehearsed. "I need you to press it." What?! What does it do? There was no way I could press it.
"Now there are days when I'm losing my faith,
Because the man wasn't good; he was great." I continued the melodic line, nearly missing my entry. I looked over to Jess as I sang who had a frown across her face. I knew I was disappointing her, and for once it wasn't my fault. "He'd say ''music was the home for your pain',
And explain I was young, he would say:
'Take that rage, put it on a page,
Take the page to the stage
And blow the roof off the place.'
I'm trying to make you proud,
Do everything you did.
I hope you're up there with God saying 'that's my kid.'"
Elicia and I both sang the chorus in harmony, "I still look for your face in the crowd,
Oh if you could see me now.
Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?
Oh if you could see me now."
I took in a deep breath before rapping the next verse. Usually I thought of my mum whilst wrapping it, but I'd had an idea.
"If you could see me now would you recognise me?
Would you pat me on the back or would you criticise me?" I went against what we'd practised and walked down the steps at the front of the stage and towards the judges.
"What are you doing?" My dad whispered but I ignored him
"Would you follow every line on my tear stained face
Or put your hand on my heart that's as cold as the day you were taken away?" I looked back to Elicia who stood on the stage looking more confused than ever before. "I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as day.
Right now I wish I could hear you say,
I drink too much, and I smoke too much dutch
And if you can't see me now that stuff's enough." I looked into Jess' eyes as I rapped the next part and held my hand out for her. "You used to say I won't know a win till it cost me,
Like I won't know real love till I've loved and I've lost it." She frowned cutely before I quickly pulled her onto the stage, continuing my rapped verse whilst watching my dad, never breaking eye contact.

I watched him raise a gun. The only time we broke eye contact was so he could get his aim right. He was aiming slightly to the left of, aiming for Jess.

BANG!

As soon as I heard the ear splitting noise I threw myself on Jess causing us to both land on the floor with a thud. Miraculously, none of us were hurt.

Jess lay on her back. Her face was scrunched up and tense. I cupped her cheek and whispered to tell her she was okay, and that I was okay. I knew that before we split, my safety was high on her list of priorities.

I stood up as everyone started screaming and running in panic. The music had stopped making the room feel cold. Security had tackled my dad to the floor, the gun was far away from his reach. "I'll be back. This isn't over." He shouted towards Jess and myself. Other security guards were attempting to keep everyone calm and helping them leave the building.
"You need to leave the stage." One guard told me.
"It's fine." I told the buff female guard, "It was only him. He was on his own. You don't need to worry."
"It's all part of procedure." I could hear the police sirens coming closer as she started to pull me away from the stage.
"Wait!" I heard a small voice from the floor. I turned to look at Jess who was being seen to by a different guard. "Ems, I need you." I held out my hand for Jess, she took it and carefully stood. Tears were falling down her cheeks, she was paler than usual and was visibly shaking. I wrapped my arm around her comfortingly and held her close as we walked off the stage together.

I was curious. What would've happened if I pressed that button? Would anything bad have happened or was he calling my bluff? If he was... Well, then I fell straight into his trap. I was happy though; Jess said she needed me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am soooooo sorry for the very long wait you've had to endure. I've been busier than I clearly thought... :(

I'd just like to say thank you because this story and all of it's now 8 chapters has over 1K reads *gasps* you guys really do make me so happy. I still can't believe anyone reads this!

Sorry for the cringy part ^ it's gone 2am :D and yeah, this isn't proof read, I wanted to give you a Christmas present not too long after Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Dedicated to my girl because I love her more than anything! Jade_JessieJ

The song at the top or wherever it goes is "If You Could See Me Now" by The Script. Go listen!

Thank you for reading, commenting and voting

Emma xx