Reckless [Dean Winchester]

28. The Second Trial

28. The Second Trial

My visit from Crowley is pushed to the back of my head with the next case the Winchesters comes across: vampires in Conaway Springs, Kansas. There, we encounter a group of teenager hunters, the group founded by a girl Sam and Dean know from a previous case. In these kids' cases, they're hunters in their spare time, when they aren't doing school work. Yes, they go to actual school, like, normal school.

In the end, turns out the man who was giving the kids a home was only trying to create a "better" generation of hunters by allying with a vampire. The sick bastard was shunned by the kids, and the grief made him take his own life. From then on, the kids were on their own. But they seemed to be tight-knit, so there was a good chance that they'd be good friends for a long while. It was a different dynamic to see, as the only hunters I've been around is the pair of brothers.

The kids reminded me of myself a little bit: the motivation, the survival instinct. It was a shame that they were trying to juggle two different things instead of choosing one and sticking with that path for the rest of their life.

Now, here I am, back at the bunker. I've gotten an early rise this morning, and I decide to let my frustration out by hitting the shooting gallery. I don't hold back and make it a goal of mine to demolish the target until it's shreds of paper. Every bullet is another release of my anger. If only I could put Crowley as my target and blast the bastard back into Hell.

My teeth grind together. He ruined me. He ruined my life. He's going to take my life away from me. I'm running out of time. I need to tell Sam and Dean. Thinking it is one thing, actually telling the boys will be harder on me, I know.

I pretend I'm knocking out demons like it's child's play. Bang. Bang. Bang, bang, bang. I fire mercilessly until I'm out of bullets. I realize I'm breathing heavy from the shot of adrenaline in my system. I put my hands down on the table, realize they're shaking. I'm shaking. It's from anger, not fear. I'm not afraid of Crowley. I never was. But I know some part of me is afraid. Some part of me doesn't want to die so young.

Part of me isn't ready to leave this new life I've adopted.

"Someone's getting busy this morning," Dean comments.

"Needed the practice," I say.

"Whoa. You okay, Max?"

"Yeah. Fine." I turn to him. "Why?"

"Well, call me crazy, but the target took a hell of a beating."

"What, you don't get spells where you just want to release all emotions by blasting away?" I ask smartly.

"Not often, no. Something up?"

"Lack of sleep. Not exactly a mood lifter."

"I'll say. When's the last time you slept, Max?"

"Really, you're asking me that? Like you and Sam are poster boys for a good night's sleep."

Dean takes my face carefully in his hand. "If there's something going on, we need to know."

"It's just my internal issues. Still having a hard time letting go of the past." Because the past sure as hell isn't letting go of me anytime soon.

"Anything I can do to help with that?"

"Not unless you can erase the past or change it," I say sorrowfully. "What are you down here for, anyway? You think I got lost in the halls?"