Fragile Heart

Addiction

A/N: Hello there my lovelies! I forgot to mention that this was gonna be a short story, oops. This is the last part, and it's shitty, as usual. Enjoy!

Chapter 5

The awkward exchange once Mitch arrived made me feel like I was suffocating, but he entered the house and glanced around.

"Nice place," he murmured.

"Thanks," I muttered before scratching the back of my neck awkwardly. I wasn't sure why I'd invited him over. I was a loss for words. I can't believe I let him pull me down to this place.

A place where I felt so confused and guilty.

It felt wrong for him to be here, especially at this time. Alex was right upstairs. He could walk down at any moment, and this would be hell to explain.

Hey Alex, the man I'm supposed to marry in 2 weeks. Don't mind me, I just invited my ex over, because I wanted so desperately to see his beautiful face and hear his voice.

"So," he began before sitting on the couch.

I glanced at the other couch, which faced the one where he sat, before sitting down.

"Sorry. I don't know what to say. I just..." I took a deep breath and stared at my lap as I pulled my legs up and sat cross-legged.

"I'm sorry for messing everything up for you. I shouldn't have come back," he commented meekly.

I looked up abruptly, "I'm glad that you came back," I blurted out before wearing a look of embarrassment, "I mean...I don't know. I shouldn't have said that. I'm with Alex, and we're very happy. It doesn't matter if I've missed y-God, I can't do this," I rambled before burying my face in my hands. I was such a mess, and I could hardly think straight.

A brief silence passed before Mitch spoke again.

"I've missed you too." It was hardly above a whisper.

I ran my fingers through my hair, "I know. That's why you kissed me earlier," I reminded him.

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his bangs, "I didn't initiate that," he informed me softly.

I gave him a look of astonishment before groaning and burying my face in my hands again. I didn't know what to say. I felt disgusted with myself.

Alex deserved so much better.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but soon, I felt a hand grab mine and gently pry it away from my face. I looked up sheepishly at Mitch who had claimed a seat next to me.

His hands felt warm, and a familiar sense of calm washed over me.

"Is there any chance that you could consider..." he trailed off nervously, "Starting over, maybe? I've missed you...I've missed us. It seems as if you have too. We used to be so happy. We could be that again," he offered meekly.

My heart started to race, and I began to panic. I shook my head and pulled my hand away, "No. We can't. I can't trust you. I don't want to trust you. I don't want to get hurt again," I rambled as I stood up, desperate to distance myself from him.

"Hurting you was my biggest mistake, but I promise; I'll never hurt you again," he assured me, desperately, as he stood as well.

I shook my head again, "You destroyed any trust I could ever have in you. That's your fault, and you just have to live with it," I retorted angrily.

This was a bad idea. I knew as soon as I picked up this phone that this wouldn't end well, but I couldn't help it. It was like I just needed to be around him. Like some sick addiction.

He approached me, looking up at me sadly. "Is there any way I could earn your trust back? All I want is for you to trust me again," he murmured.

He became blurry as my eyes filled with tears. I let out a shaky breath. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think.

"I'm pretty sure that I made it clear that you weren't welcomed here," a familiar voice spoke, sending a chill down my spine.

Mitch and I both looked up at Alex who had his arms crossed over his chest, as he came down the stairs.

I had forgotten to be quiet. Great.

I gaped at Alex as he stepped off of the bottom step. "I invited him over," I blurted out.

Alex's look of anger was quickly replaced with sadness, making me swallow nervously.

"I just wanted to talk," I added pathetically. Alex looked at me before looking at Mitch.

"I was just leaving, no worries," Mitch muttered softly.

I stared at the floor as he walked past me and headed to the door. Silence hung over the room, besides the door opening and closing.

I looked up at Alex, wearing a look of shame. "Nothing happened. I don't know...I just...I wanted to talk to him."

Alex nodded, still looking hurt.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the floor. "I understand. You're in a rough place right now," he pointed out.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his hurt look. I hated knowing that I was the cause of his pain. He didn't deserve this. He deserved better.

But I still took him into my arms and tried to pretend like everything was okay.

...

I spent the next day trying desperately to make Alex feel better. He seemed extra wary of me, which was understandable.

I'd called Mitch, still desperate for interaction, and Alex didn't take it too well.

"You're self-destructing," he assured me as he rubbed my back, "It's not healthy."

I shook my head, "We just talk," I pointed out.

"But it brings up repressed memories that make you more emotional," he reminded me.

He was right, but I couldn't get enough.

Having Mitch around again made me equally happy and sad. I loved reminiscing old memories of our times together, but the mood was easily destroyed when I remembered the feeling in my chest when I was alone at that altar.

Over the next week, I got closer and closer with Mitch. I saw how much it was hurting Alex, but I couldn't stop.

I pretended like he didn't look so broken every time I'd mention Mitch's name. I pretended like I couldn't hear him crying in the middle of the night. I pretended like everything was okay.

I pretended that the situation wasn't painfully familiar.

It wasn't until the day before the wedding that I realized how bad the situation had gotten. I realized how drained Alex looked.

I realized I was the cause of his suffering.

I'd been so happy being around Mitch that nothing else mattered.

Nothing else was enough.

But once reality settled in; I panicked.

I'm not sure what happened at that wedding that day, because I didn't go.

I left the man that I loved standing alone at the altar.

Oh irony, isn't she sweet?

A/N: ;) Thanks for reading this shitstorm. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Leave a comment and let me know if you started picking up on the irony early. Stay fcute!