Dont get me wrong, I miss you. I miss waking up and immediately checking my phone for a text from you. I miss waiting all week for a Friday night of kisses and deep talks. I miss the feeling I got looking at your face and imagining how it would look for years to come. I miss the butterflies that flew when someone mentioned your name. But then I remembered all the things I don't miss about you. I don't miss feeling sad all day when I didnt receive a message. I don't miss all the fights and being ignored all the time. I don't miss being second to all the things that brought your sobriety to an end. I don't miss feeling like I barely mattered to you when you were the only thing that mattered to me. So yes, sometimes I miss you, but then I remember how better off I am because a relationship like ours was toxic; the kind that made some people jump off bridges or swallow a month's worth of pills. I miss you but our love was never the kind I wanted.
