Dying is Not an Option

Chapter 4, Dying Is Not An Option, The Collar***

Chapter 4, The Collar

That day set the pattern for my days, I would be let out to shower, cook, clean, be abused, and locked into my room. Sometimes it was both Rafe and Tamera, and other times, just Tamera, but not Rafe by himself. I was very grateful for that because, I knew, that the day that he had me alone; was the day, I would be raped. He continued to sneak touches, when Tamera wasn't looking, but lately he was getting more aggressive; and I heard them arguing a lot.

One day, I was cleaning up their room (I can't call it Dads room, or I will cry), and Rafe came in, and grabbed me, and started ripping my clothes. I screamed as I struggled, against him, and Tamera came running in. She screamed at him, and they started fighting. While they weren't looking, I tried to slip out of the house, but I tripped over some stuff, by the door, and they caught me.

Tamera started slapping me in the face and slugging me in the stomach, yelling at me; saying that "this was all my fault and I had started tempting Rafe. And he just took me up on what I offered and I wasn't going to do that to Him again."

She threw me down the stairs and leapt to the bottom of the stairs and, grabbed me by my hair, dragging me to my room. Throwing me across the room, she screamed, "This won't happen again." She slammed and locked the door, leaving me to wonder what she meant?

The rest of that day and several hours, into the next day, went by, when suddenly, the door, opened. Rafe bounded across the room, grabbing me, and he dragged me from the room and into the kitchen. Tamera stood there with a smug look on her face and laughed, saying "Hold her", and she put a collar around my neck, locking it with a padlock. I was too scared to speak and after a minute Rafe said, "We decided it takes too much of our time to have to watch you all the time, so we came up with a solution."

I looked at her, wondering what they were going on about, she laughed, and picked up a remote" and hit a "button. I was hit with a paralyzing jolt of electricity, when it finally stopped. I slumped to the ground, and, they both laughed. Tamera said, "From now on, if you go somewhere that you shouldn't, that's what you will get, there are sensors everywhere and if you attempt, to pass outside of the sensors, that's what you will feel."

After that, my days were blurs, of electrical jolts, punches, and slaps. I had been trying, to keep track of the days. I knew, I had been held prisoner, for over a year. I never saw a calendar around to tell me the day or year. I knew, I had missed marking some days, due to the beatings, and electric jolts, rendering me unconscious.

I don't know why but, I seemed to heal fast, but that just infuriated Tamera even more. She started sticking, me with straight pins, at random times; and delighted, in the times when, she stuck me so hard, that the straight pins stuck in me more than an inch!

I often wondered, about their strange comments, as I lay upon my bed, they moved so fast. I'd never seen Tamera move as fast as she seemed to do, nowadays, and one of their favorite insults, included calling me "human", "Duh, What else would I be?"

I used to consider myself, "the luckiest girl in the world", I had the greatest Mom and Dad, several good friends, a great place to live and even had a cool name Elizabeth Lee (Lisette) Diamond". Mom and Dad were Catherina and William, and they always said I was their "perfect diamond". But then, Mom died of cancer, when I was 8.

Dad met and married Tamera, when I was 9, and everything changed. Now, I wished I could go back to even then, because even if Tamera was mean to me, I had Dad and now, I had no one.

I was finding it harder and harder to, keep up with my Job, due to the lack of food and the beatings. Rafe always watched me when I was cooking, so I was unable to sneak any food. They only allowed me a small amount of food a day. If I made them mad, or if they were feeling their oats, as my Dad, used to say I didn't get food, for several days. The longest time they made me go without food was 4 days, but now the small amount they gave me, seemed like a feast. Not only could I not sneak any food but also there had been, no chance, for me to escape.

Dad had some funny sayings; since he was from Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I used to wonder a lot, about what the, "true meanings", of some of the things he used to say were. He used to tell me stories, about his Uncle Ryan, who made "Moonshine or White Lightning" and some of the chases, that he and his Uncle got into, with the law.

But, all of Dad's family was dead, as far as I know, and Mom was a foundling. She was abandoned, at a special hospital, that had an area set up, for infants to be dropped, when their parent or parents, wouldn't or couldn't, take care of them. So Mom didn't even know her parent's name, or anything about her birth family.

She grew up, in the foster care system, and never talked about, anyone or anyplace, that she stayed in or with. A lady, who tried to keep her, ran the only place she mentioned, but the authorities said that she had too many foster children, and couldn't keep anymore. She refused to say anything else, except for the fourth happiest day in her life, was the day, she left foster care, and that the "System" was as bad, as its reputation. Her first, second, and third happiest days were when she met, and married Dad and the day I was born.

I fell asleep while I was thinking about all this and as usual, lately, I started having a nightmare. It varied, sometimes, I was running down a road in a wooded area and I was terrified. Something was chasing me, and I knew, if it caught me that I would be dead. I would hear taunting laughter, behind me, like whoever it was, was playing with me and that my attempts to escape them, were amusing.

It seems so real, and, there were mornings, when I woke up, and I had bruises where I had a hand, grab me in my nightmare. I couldn't imagine, how I have been bruised, it was really making it hard for me to sleep. I needed sleep, but I, reluctantly slipped into sleep. It was, like my nightmare, just continued, from the moment it left off last night; there was a hand, holding my arm, and I kept pulling, and twisting, in terror, trying to get free.