One Thousand Paper Cranes

Chapter 5

Did we kiss? I mean you could classify what we did as kissing but you'd probably be wrong. You see I've never kissed a boy before. I know that I'm gay, but I'd never gotten the opportunity to actually kiss someone of the same gender. But we weren't even actually kissing. Our lips were just really close.

When Roman stepped inside the room we pulled apart so fast that our noses smashed together and it didn't feel good. My hand flew up to try and stop the pain shooting up the bridge of my nose. It didn't work and all I was left with was more pain.

"What's up, my bitches?" Roman dropped down onto Greg's bed and crossed his arms behind his head. "So, why'd you run away from me, Sammy?" Roman only called me Sammy when he really wanted something out of me. I took in a deep breath. It was only right that Roman would get to know what was going on.

"My mom wants to pull me out of Doverhall." I said, my voice almost breaking. Roman sat up so quick it was like he hadn't even been lying down before. His eyes got really big and his jaw hung slack.

"Holy fucking shit." He exclaimed, hands going straight through his mess of brown hair. "That fucking bitch." Roman cursed ten times more than usual whenever he was upset about something. "Damn, I've never wanted to kill your bitch of a mother more than right now. How could she fucking do this to you?" He went on like that, cursing like a sailor and then calling my mother a bitch. Everything he said I agreed with even down to the comment that my mother probably couldn't afford to keep me in Doverhall because she wasn't making enough money as a stripper.

"I think we could talk her out of it." Eliam said, his cheeks were still a deep crimson color from our lip touching (there was no kissing). I was glad Roman hadn't questioned us being alone. He always knew when to keep his nose out of things.

"You haven't met this woman." Roman told him. "One time she kicked me out of their house because my V neck shirt was too revealing and it might make Sam here have unholy thoughts." I laughed, remembering. I think that was when I realized my mother would never come to accept me.

"It's true so Roman fucking ripped his shirt off in front of both me and my mom and tried to give me a lap dance." I kept laughing and a smug smile spread across Roman's face. Eliam laughed as well.

"That will forever be one of my favorite encounters with your mother, Sam." Roman said between laughs.

"But how are we gonna change her mind?" I asked, pulling my legs up beneath me.
"She's stubborn, remember that."

Eliam looked down, thinking about something. His eyes were calculating and his hands roamed through the curls on the top of his head.

"We could hire an assassin." Roman suggested.

"We're not going to kill the woman who gave me life." I replied, throwing a look over at Roman.

"Yeah, but we'd also be killing the person who made your life hell." He raised his eyebrows. I could see his point, but we weren't going with his plan.

"You make a valid argument, but I would like to live the rest of my days not rotting in a cell." Eliam smiled at that. He perked his head up and I could tell he'd come up with something.

"What is it, Eliam?" I asked, my curiosity grew.

"We could trick your mother into thinking you're straight." He suggested.

"That won't work." I was kind of disappointed that we couldn't figure out what to do. No, I was really disappointed and mad. Mad because this might be the last conversation I had with my friends and we had to spend it talking about me leaving. "She knows I'm gay."

"No, I know that, but we could make it believable. We could find you a girlfriend, but you don't have to actually date her. You can pretend, but enough that your mom thinks you're really straight. You don't have to do it though. You can decide, but I think this might work."

I wasn't so sure. I had negative interest in girls and my mom knew that, everyone knew that. Suddenly turning straight wasn't something people just did. If we did this we had to do it right.

I had to ask myself, really ask myself,  if I wanted to stay here that bad. Do I want to lie to everyone except for Roman and Eliam? If it meant staying with them, then yes. I would lie. I would lie about everything.

When Roman and Eliam left I went to work on the homework I had gotten earlier that day. After we talked about the plan to fool my mother, Roman gave me the homework for Mr. Robb's class. It wasn't much. Just a small essay on how literature affects the world, that would be easy. He said that Robb hadn't asked about my absence and I was grateful, I could just tell him I wasn't feeling good.

As I wrote, the plan was in the back of my mind, tickling my thoughts. Getting a girlfriend wouldn't be easy, my mother had convinced me once when I was younger that my being gay was just a phase that would pass. I only liked boys because I was missing a father figure so this was how I was making up for it, she'd said. My dad wouldn't have ever spoken to me like that. He was always accepting. I was going to tell him about my sexuality, but he left us before I could. Cancer's a bitch.

My dad died when I was ten, so I still remember him. I remember how he used to wake me up every morning before he went to work because he never knew if he was going to see me again, that's what he said. I didn't realize he was dying until the last few weeks of his life when my mother finally decided to tell me. By then it was too late for me to beg him to stay, he'd already come to terms with the fact that he was leaving. I hadn't and I still haven't.

Why my mother kept his condition from me is still a mystery. I was young and ten isn't an age where you're very observant. Whenever he went to go get medicine, which was everyday, my mom told me they were going to get me a snack. I believed them and I'll never forgive my mom for that. Not only did she lie to me, but after the truth was out she refused to explain to me why she did it.

Maybe lying to her would make us a little more even. I knew it wouldn't get rid of all the debt she owed me, for telling me I was destined for hell and treating me like a criminal in my own home, but it would have to do for now.

Greg came back to the dorm around dinner time, just as I was heading out. His hair was a mess and the top buttons of his white shirt were unbuttoned, exposing his pale chest.

"Are you alright?" I asked, pulling on my gray sweater. It was a little too big for me but it kept me warm so I wasn't complaining. Greg looked down at his hand then back up to me. There was a glaze over his eyes and I thought for one split second that maybe he'd been crying, or was about to anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He muttered, shuffling through his drawers, looking. I didn't believe him, who would have? Greg was most certainly not okay. I'd never seen him like this. He was focused on too many things at once and I could tell by the hurriedness of his actions that he was trying to find something.

"No, you're not." I found the courage to say. I'd been in the same room with this guy for almost four years now. I could tell when he was okay or not.

"Fuck of, Jones. It's really none of your business." Greg slammed the drawer shut and walked over to me, his feet shaking the ground with each step. He got so close to me I was afraid I was going to fall over. "Why do you care anyway? Does Roman want to know? He's so fucking obsessed with me." And that's when I smelled the alcohol on his breath. It was strong and I had to turn my face to the side because it was making me sick.

"How'd you get beer past security?" I asked, taking the needed steps back.

"I said fuck off." He shoved me, back and I almost fell into the desk behind me but I caught myself before I collided with it.
Greg left, slamming the door behind him and even though I didn't want to I went out and followed him. My plans were always great.

A/N: The picture attached to this chapter is who I based Roman's looks off of.