Living Forever Is Hard (Demon!Levi)

The light in my cursed life

(Hello readers! I really enjoyed writing 'The little demon named Levi' and its been a little while since I've written a multi-chapter fic. This will sort of link to the other fic but not completely, the other one is basically how they meet and fall in love. So this is everything after that. )

'I wish I could live forever.' I've never understood that saying. Why would anyone want to live forever? I've been alive for over one hundred and thirty years and to be honest its been shitty. I get close to people and adventually they die that's what happens. That's my life.
So over time I tried to stay away from people, I sunk into myself. Until I was caught by the military police and forced into the survey corps. And that big, stupid, gorgeous blonde walked in. Damn, did I fall hard for him. My stupid biology made me connect with him and the worse bit is that he accepted me! Which landed me here, actually feeling happy for once...

I'm a captain now and I've been
named 'Humanity's strongest'. Being a demon makes me a little stronger while fighting and I can take a lot more damage than an average soldier. So my job was pretty easy, the only things that annoyed me were the brats, losing all my squad on a regular basis and Hanji. Why Hanji? Because she doesn't stop touching and asking me questions, I'll just be walking down the hall and she'll try strip me right there on the spot and everytime she just says 'It's for science!' Our last encounter was the worst so far, I was sitting in the mess hall minding my own business when she appeared, that's not the worst bit, no. She then proceed to ask me - very loudly I might add - about my 'breeding habits.' I don't think you can ever understand how embarrassing that was. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. In front of most of the cadets as well, I'm gonna beat her up again next time I see her.

But other than the occasional Hanji encounter, this is one of the first times I've actually been happy. I mean, I have Erwin now but I can't help thinking about the day he'll leave me forever. It was one of the things I thought of when I get light bouts of insomnia, silently curled into his side as grim images fill my head. It happens when I'm alone, be it at night or when I'm making my rounds in the morning. But as soon as I see him again, I think for now it's okay, stop living in the future.

Erwin is currently in a meeting with a bunch of pigs from the inner wall. A meeting I wasn't allowed in because 'they can't trust demon scum like me.' You should have seen Erwins face when they said that, it made me feel a little bit of pride in my... boyfriend..? No lets just say my mate, boyfriend sounds weird. I know you humans don't call them mates but whatever. So yeah now I'm bored and waiting for Erwin. It's really late and he hasn't got back yet, there goes my hopes of getting fucked tonight. He'll come in and say 'Damn that meeting was long' which is Erwin for 'No Levi I'm tired tonight.' Such a boring old man... Wait I'm the old man in this relationship... Ew that's made me feel weird. Well I guess technical I'm around 32 in human years and Erwin is 35, I think. Okay no that's fine, I can deal with that.

Soon enough the door of our quarters opened, revealing a very exhausted Erwin. "Hey handsome." I say as I stroll over to him. I run my hands up his chest and wrap them around his neck. "Hey beautiful, that meeting was so Damn long." See! I told you he would say that. We kiss briefly. I actual feel a light bad for him, he's been dealing with pigs and I've been lounging around and by that I mean cleaning my gear. I watch as he falls face first onto the bed. "Here," I say, "Let me take your uniform off and then I'll give you a massage. How does that sound?" Erwin mumbles something that sounds a bit like 'love you baby' into the duvet but I'm not sure. Regardless I help him out of his clothes and let him slide into bed. I straddle his lower back and sit on the butt so I can gently smooth out all the knots in his back. Stupid man's gonna work himself to death.

That's one of the things I love about him though, he's so damn passionate about freeing humanity and proving his father right. I also like the smaller things about him, like the way he holds my tail while I'm rubbing his back, or the way he won't let me clean his desk because everything has it's own special place, or the face he makes when he cums... sorry I got a bit distracted. But I love it and him and just everything. He truly is the light in my cursed life.

I make sure that there are no more knots before stopping. He hums when I bend down and kiss behind his ear. He pulls me down and into his side when I finish blowing out the candles. So maybe we aren't gonna have sex but snuggling into his big warm chest is enough for me.

Nightmares aren't new to me, being scared of them is. I started getting nightmare just after my mum and I found the walls. Titans would haunt my young mind, I remember I used to be scared of the dark. They came in the dark and thunder. I haven't managed to get over thunder yet, I still end up trembling. Erwin doesn't let me go on expeditions if it's raining, he says if it starts to thunder you'll end up getting hurt. That's only happened twice so far, though. But no nightmares are still a frequent thing, waking up the a cold sweat after seeing Erwin being eaten alive by a titan, or waking with tears in my eyes because I've just watched Erwin take his last breath.

But tonight it wasn't me having the nightmares. I cracked my eyes open when I hear groaning, when I roll over I see Erwin tossing and turning, mumbling orders to soldier that aren't there. He starts calling for me, quietly sobbing my name. It hurts, seeing him like this hurts. It's not long before his eyes go wide and he cries out. Breathing heavily into the cold room. I gently place a hand on his chest, which makes him jump. It takes a minute for him to focus before he lungs forwards, grabbing me and wrapping his strong arms around me. I feel his face press into my hair. "Don't ever leave me, Levi. I can't be alone again." He sobs. Erwins life hasn't been all plain sailing either. His life was much like mine, everyone left him. His father was murdered, his mother died of a broken heart, his first love left him for his best friend and almost every soldier he's commanded has died. We are all we've got left and I'd be damned if I leave him before he dies.

(So yes, this is just the first of many. Stay tuned for more.)