baby girl // j.r.

v

I heard the car door slam as I turned around to make eye connect with Jesse as he rolled the car window down.
"Get your stuff together, I'm going to come by sometime tomorrow to get you." Jesse's smile could not escape his lips no matter what he did as he spoke to me. His brown eyes twinkled in the mid afternoon sky, the soft beat of Brand New was playing in his car as he talked to me, he quickly put his hand through his hair and started to search his pockets for something.
I smiled at how cute he was, then quickly nodded my head.
"Can't wait." I whispered.
Jesse smiled once again as he still searched his pockets "Where the fuck are they." I heard Jesse whisper under his breath.
He then smiled when he finally found what he was looking for, then he nodded his head towards me, like he wanted me to come over to him.
I leaned through the window of his car, and couldn't help but smile at the huge grin on Jesse's face as Sowing Season by Brand New blasted through the car radio (a/nTØP AF). "I love this song" Jesse whispers as he bites his lip gently then licks them.
I had to admit that what he was doing was hot I nodded my head then bit my lip, "Me too."
He then leaned into me and rapped his hand around my neck as he softly kisses my lips. It was a small kiss, nothing special, but just something to show that he cared.
He then pulled out a cigarette, lit it, put it in his mouth, then looked back at me once again and said, "I'll see you later baby girl." then drove off.

I opened the door to my apartment and quickly remembered the events that led me to go out for a  walk and meet Jesse.

The textbook was still lying on the floor, the pages were spread apart and some were torn. As I was observing the textbook I remembered why I moved to New York. I came here to persue a career I promised my mom I would do when she passed away when I was 8 years old.

My mom and I had a great relationship, she was my best friend we talked about anything and everything. But one day when I came home from school I walked into my living room and I saw my dad crying. The only other time I saw my dad cry was when my mom gave birth to my younger brother.

I quickly ran to my dad's side and asks what happen. My dad just shook his head and shoved me away. My own father pushed my to the ground.

I then quickly ran up to my mom's room, I thought maybe she would know what's wrong with my dad. When I got to her room nobody was in there. I hesitantly went back down to my dad to ask where my mom was, when I asked he screamed at me "Your mother is dead, she got in a car accident!"
Now how does an 8 year old handle that? What was I suppose to do? Before I could say anything else my dad also said, "Your brother was with her."

After the accident I was never the same, I couldn't become as happy, life seemed hopeless and I felt worthless. At least that is what my dad had said to me, my dad had also become an abusive drunk , so I had nothing besides the insults and bruises on my body given to me by my dad.

I had become suicidal, I attempted suicide 3 times and was sadly unsuccessful. I was just getting through life, awaiting my death that I hoped would come as quick as possible. I had nothing to live for at this moment, nobody believed my home conditions, and my dad just got worse over the years.

When I graduated high school I left, I was never going back to that awful 'home.'  Then I came here, to New York. Where I figured out my life, I realized my mother wouldn't want me to live like this. Sad. So I started to look to the future, look for some hope. I stated to go to school to become a photographer, and things started to get better. 
I met amazing people as well. Like my best friend, Alex Turner. He knows everything about me and I know everything about him. We go to the same college but for different majors. He wants to major in music. Now I'm here, questioning everything.

  I brought myself out of my thoughts as I realized the huge decision I had to make. When I told Jesse yes I wasn't thinking straight. I got lost in his dreamy eyes, they were brown and full of secretes, secretes I wanted to know but I knew I would soon regret to know.

I decided to take a shower to think, and to get the feeling of last night out of my head.

As I got out of the shower I put on some fresh clothes, and I knew what I was going to do.

~

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Alex questioned as he quickly looked up to me in the middle of lighting his cigarette. He looked hurt and betrayed. His hair was slicked back while a leather jacket lied on his shoulders.

"I don't like it here anymore, I'm so stressed in this environment I need to start new." I claimed as Alex did not break the stare between us. His eyes buried into me as if I had just told him the worst news possible. He finally broke the stare as he soon begun to shake his head and put the cigarette in his mouth. 

"What?" I questioned, suddenly getting mad. Alex's eyes widened as he mad eye contact with me. "Do you know what you're doing Desiree?" He rose his voice as he spoke, he then waited for me to say something. But I had nothing to say, I did not know what I was doing. But I also did not care.

"What about your mom? You made a promise to her, you told me you were going to school for her, because you knew she would want you to be happy." Alex's tone shifted from pure anger to sadness.

I shook my head as I thought of something to tell Alex, "I know my mom would want me to do what makes me happy Alex, but right now my happiness lies with Jesse, I'm going to California with him, because I know my mom would want me to be happy, and that is where I will be happy." I tried to calmly speak as I said what I said, the feeling of guiltiness lied in the pit of my stomach as tears threatened to leave my eyes. I will miss Alex, but this is for me.

"I don't trust this Jesse guy." Alex said as he completely ignored my comment. "You don't even know him."

I shot my head up as I looked Alex right in the eye, "But I trust him."

~

There was nothing more to Alex, therefore I said my goodbyes to him and left. It was hard to leave him. It would be the last time I would hug him and smell the smoke on him, see his slicked back hair, hear his think British accent and the last time I could look into his brown eyes and see all of the joy he had once given me in my darkest moments. I will miss my best friend.

I had finally finished packing all of my belongings, when I heard my phone go off. I reached down to see a text from Jesse, "I'm outside baby girl ;)" I smiled at the next and grabbed my belonging, taking one last look at my apartment and slamming the door to start my new adventure.

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OMF HI GUYS IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO UPDATE I'VE BEEN SICK THE PAST WEEK AND I HAD SCHOOL IT WAS CRAZY.

But I'm okay now. I hope you guys are doing well and everything is okay! I'll hopefully update again before my break ends. Have a rad day, and if you need anything do not hesitate to pm me (:

I hope you guys enjoy the chapter it was more of a filler chapter but  I hope you still enjoyed it!