baby girl // j.r.

xv

2 weeks later
The past few weeks have been better than I thought. Jesse stayed away from me even though he occasionally shot me a smile and a wink when nobody was looking.

I finally sat down and told Matty about what happened between Jesse and I. By the end of the conversation I was in tears and Matty was quietly cradling me as he rubbed my back to call me down; something Jesse never did.

But after that conversation Matty hasn't been as close to me. I've been going to bed alone and waking up alone. I can't help but think it is because I told him about what I had done to myself in that bad time. Sometimes those thoughts get to me.

Why would someone want to be with someone who's hurt themselves? Why would someone want to be with someone who's running from their past, not trying to fix it?

~

I quietly groan as I realize I'm alone again, I'm tired of waking up without Matty being by my side. His delicate curls would hang over his face and one curl would slowly go up and down as he kept a steady breath. He was so beautiful, yet so unaware of it.

But now I'm waking up to nobody.

I slowly pick myself out of my bed and head to the bathroom to do my morning routine. Once I'm done I throw on some clothes and go to find anybody who is around. I don't even know what state we are in.

As I walk outside I see a few people walking to the venue. They are either wearing Arctic Monkeys shirts or The Neighbourhood shirts.

I start to walk to the venue to hopefully find Alex.

When I open the door to the venue I see people on the stage laughing and setting up for tonight's show. As I walk closer to the stage I realize it's Jesse and his band.

I quickly look to Jesse who is setting up his mic and smiling to himself.

"Do you know where Alex is?" I quickly say to Jesse as I look at him. His head quickly shoots  up to me and he smiles widely. His eyes connected with mine for a second, his eyes were a dark brown and sad. His eyelids hung low like he hadn't slept in days. How is he smiling?  "I think he's in the back with his band." I quickly nod my head getting out of the trance of his mysterious eyes. "Thanks."

When I find my way to the backstage I hear a girl quietly giggle. I roll my eyes knowing it's another girl Alex had picked up. I decided to do some investigating to found out the source of that laughter.

After turning a few corners and tripping on some cables the male voice became very familiar. My heart rate picks up and I start to feel a bit light headed. "No no no" I quickly say to myself as I turn to corner.

There stood Matty with a tall brunette. She was giving him a lap dance and he was slowly gliding his hands up and down her perfect body. She giggled once again as Matty quickly bit her neck then she started to trail her hand down to his crotch as she grabbed it through his tight black jeans. That's when I stepped in.

"What the fuck?" I saw with a sad laugh escaping my lips. I tried to tell myself to not cry because if I do it will show I'm weak.

Matty quickly picked the brunette off his lap and threw her in the chair and walked to me as he threw his hands up in defense of what he was about to say and of course I react by throwing my hands up in defense from what I thought was going to be a  slap to my face. Matty quickly put his hands down as he knew what he was doing.

"I wasn't going to hit you babe." Matty quickly says grabbing my hand.

I scoffed at his words then pulled away from his grip.

I then looked at the girl sitting patiently on the chair then back to Matty.

"Explain." I said without any emotions.

"She means noth-"

"Of course you're going to say that. So typical of a boy to play with a girl's feelings then they think they can say shit about the other girl to make them feel better."

Matty stood across from me with his mouth wide open, trying to say something but nothing came out.

"Matty we are done."

I started to walk away from the situation but I was quickly pulled back by Matty as a loud scream escaped my lips.

"Babe we can't be done. It was a mistake! She means nothing I swear! Desiree please I need you!"

"Matty I don't deal with cheaters, once a cheater always a cheater."

He didn't say anything once again.

"You're not even the same person to me anymore."

Matty ran his hands through his hair and a tear fell from his eye.

"Please" he begged me.

I went to go answer but another voice entered the room. 

"Is everyday okay i heard a- oh" Jesse stood at the opening of the backstage with a confused look on his face.

I quickly huffed out a long breath and looked to Matty one last time "everything is great."

Then I walked past Jesse to leave the venue. Jesse quickly followed me out of the back stage as he asked questions "what's going on? Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

Tears started to threaten to roll down my cheeks I didn't want Jesse to see me like this.

I quickly stopped in my trace and looked to Jesse as tears ran down my face. "I just need to be alone." I said slowly trying to talk as calmly as I could.

Jesse gave me a sad smile then hugged me. I was shocked at first at what he was doing then I rapped my arms around his waist. The smell of cigarette smoke was overwhelming as I became buried in his chest. I miss this. This is the Jesse I need. Not the abuse asshole one. I started to cry again as I began to realize how much I had missed him.

Jesse quickly kissed my forehead then let go of me. I didn't want the hug to end.  "If you need anything you know where I am baby girl." He gave me a small smile and brushed a tear off my face.

I brushed the rest of the tears off my face then gave a small smile to Jesse. "Thanks." 

As Jesse walked away I couldn't help but notice that his eyes were not longer dark brown they were now a light brown.

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I like this chapter tbh
But this will probably be the only update for the next 2 weeks. I might be able to update tomorrow or Wednesday. But I'm also planning to start my Matty Healy book today too ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!! Remember to vote and leave some comments I love talking to you guys! Have a rad day and good luck to anyone with exams this week (: