10: How to Get a Head

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"We need to get in there," whispered Flop.

"How?" said Rudolph just as quietly. They hadn't been discovered, yet, by whoever was in the Factory and they wanted to keep it that way, so both ducked down. It was a move that was wasted on the squirrel as he went from very small to tiny. He could have stood on tippy-toes and still been overlooked.

"Round the back..."

Flop ran off before Rudolph could say anything, so the reindeer had no choice but to follow as quickly as he could - something that wasn't easy when you were stumbling through a bomb site where every charred scrap of wood and shattered piece of rubble was doing its best to get under your feet and trip you up.

They reached the Toy Factory without making too much noise, apart from a squeaky little sneeze from Flop, and pressed themselves close against the wall. Holding their breath so even have the frosty air from their mouths couldn't give them away, they crept forward.

At the back of the Toy Factory were huge doors that opened onto the slope from the snowmen's field. The snowmen themselves would come up that hill and enter the Factory, picking up piles of presents to carry to the Sack. Working tirelessly, they'd continue for hours until the Sack was full and the Factory empty. Rudolph and Flop knew that the snowmen would have heard what had happened. They could even have seen the same red glow that had so convinced everyone that Rudolph was to blame. They could only hope that they either wouldn't be seen or that they could outrun the walking balls of snow.

Things were going well. They really were. They managed to reach the back of the Factory without being discovered by whoever was inside, and were almost at the doors without being seen by those below. That was when everything seemed to happen at once. Flop sneezed again, the dust from the Stables irritating his nose, the snowmen looked up and Flop looked down. His feet decided at that moment to forget where they were and follow his gaze, setting him tumbling down the slope. Rudolph reached out to grab his friend but over-balanced and went antlers over tail down after the squirrel.

"Umph!"

"Ouch!"

"Urgh!"

"Thud!"

Dazed, they sat up slowly and brushed the snow from their faces. Flop untangled himself from beneath his friend, thankful that they had such a soft landing. It wasn't until he looked down that he realised what, exactly, they had landed on.

"Thanks. Thanks a lot. No, really. I appreciate it. Completely demolishing my body. Wonderful job. Why don't you kick my head to pieces too? Finish the job?"

The snowman's head lay just a few feet away from them, and it was not happy. The thing with falling is that you can't quite choose where you might end up. And the problem with bodies made from snow is that they didn't really do very well if fallen upon. When one meets the other, the results are fine for one side, but oh, so not fine for the side that gets smashed to pieces.

"I...we..." Both Flop and Rudolph were horrified at what had happened. They would never even think of hurting a snowman, let alone anyone else.

Okay, so snowmen couldn't really feel it if you did happen to turn them from snow to slush but when you'd spent so many Christmases helping to build them, you couldn't help but feel the pain for them.

"No, no, it's fine," said the snowman, his voice so heavily smothered in sarcasm it could have suffocated. "It's not like I need a body is it? I mean, it's only the most important day of the year, isn't it?"

"Let's build you a new one!" suggested Rudolph. "We'll make it better than the last!"

"I was quite happy with the body I had, thank you very much! And how would you know what it looked like, hmmm? It wasn't as if you took time to look at it before you demolished me!"

Rudolph and Flop looked at each other. The last thing they needed was a commotion. They didn't want to draw attention to themselves or to alert whoever was in the Factory. They tried to appease the head, but it was having none of their gestures. It didn't want a new body, it wanted the old one back. Then it suddenly stopped its ranting and stared at the reindeer.

"You! You! You're not happy with interfering with Christmas, you want to destroy a few snowmen as well?"

Rudolph backed away, even though the head couldn't move to attack him.

"I didn't! We didn't mean...!"

"Boys!" the snowman shouted. "It's Rudolph! Get him!"

Rudolph looked up and saw all the other snowmen slowly turning around to face them. Being made out of snow and not having proper legs made snowmen not exactly the fastest movers in the North Pole. Even Great-Granny Gerty had been known to be swifter on her stick than a snowman. They were still, though, an imposing spectacle, and one the pair wanted to be away from as quickly as possible. They backed off towards the incline and, once reaching it, turned and ran up to the top. They looked back to see hordes of angry snowmen crammed at the bottom, their bodies mashing together as they jostled to get to the supposed criminals and snowmen squashers.

"We need to hurry before they figure out how to separate themselves and get up here!" said Flop.

"I know," replied Rudolph, "but how do we get in?"

The doors to the Toy Factory were massive to accommodate the entry of a field full of snowy bodies. They were ornately decorated with pictures of sleighs and presents and stars and happy, smiling children. Rudolph shook his head sadly. This was one year where those faces would very likely not be smiling.

To the right of the doors was a small hole. Years before an accident with a high powered, pump action water gun that had been set to just the high side of 'powered' had resulted in a hole being punched through three teddy bears, a monopoly game, two games consoles and Pinchet's (the elf responsible for pump action water gun adjustments), hat. Oh, and also through the back wall to the Factory.

The hole had been left there (in the wall, not in the toys - who wants a teddy bear with a gaping cavity where its tummy should be?) as a reminder for all elves to be more responsible when adjusting their adjustments. Pinchet had been moved from water guns to dolls, where he had to make sure they had matching pairs of same coloured shoes. He was much more suited to that and had won the Elf Enterprise Award three years running for services to dolls everywhere.

"There!" exclaimed Flop and, before his friend could even think to utter anything, the squirrel was off, leaping for the hole and clambering inside.

Where he got wedged. Fast. Head and upper arms in, bottom, legs and bushy tail out. And Rudolph couldn't budge him. Push or pull, the squirrel was stuck fast.

"I'm going to have to leave you," the reindeer said. "I've got to go in."

"You can't just leave me here!" said Flop, his tail shaking crazily as his bottom wriggled furiously. Presumably the front half was moving in a similar fashion. "What if the snowmen get up here, or if I'm found by him!?"

The 'him' obviously referred to the real fake Rudolph and the real, not fake, criminal. Rudolph had no choice, however. If he continued to try and force Flop out of the hole, he might get hurt. And the snowmen would reach the top - he could already see them managing to separate themselves from one another and it wouldn't be long before they reached the top.

"I've got to," he said. Without another word, and completely ignoring his friend protests, he went back to the door. With a last, nervous look below, he pushed the door.

As there was no such thing as crime and no such person as a criminal and no such anything as Naughty in the North Pole, the Toy Factory doors were not locked. They opened silently and Rudolph peered into the gloom.

Then, with a deep breath, he stepped inside.

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