Cursed

27. Daurien and the Truth

27. Daurien and the Truth

One morning, I woke up exited and then I realized I had been waking up a little excited every day for a while now. It was strange because I hadn't been excited in so long. Interested? Absolutely, but excited?

I sat up in my bed and pondered the phenomenon a moment longer. I knew why I was excited. It wasn't for any remarkable reason. I was simply thrilled to be awake and ready to begin my day.

It was a curious thought, seeing as I hadn't anything to look forward to in centuries. What had changed? That was a silly question. Everything had changed. Belle was in my life. And I looked forward to every moment with her.

I looked forward to her bright good mornings, to her witty jabs and her fiery argumentative debating. I loved picking her brain for new insight into her past, what little she would give me, that is.

I couldn't exactly complain however, for I was not particularly generous in that department either. How could I let her see that side of me? The ugly, selfish man that I used to be. Would she still care for me if she knew? The thought of her ever finding out sent my stomach into uncomfortable knots.

On the other hand, how could she ever truly love me otherwise? If she didn't know who I had been, how could she ever give her whole heart to me?

And then another thought occurred to me. Maybe I actually did want her to know. What if I told her and it didn't matter? What if she simply didn't care and all that mattered to her was the good in me she must have seen somewhere along the months we had spent together thus far?

That "what if" was worth everything. It was even worth risking our slowly blossoming companionship. Because when it came down to it, I didn't want her to love a man she only thought she knew. If she didn't know me, it was better she didn't love me at all. It was everything I had to give, thorns and all, or nothing.

I had to let her in. I would let her in. Today. It was as good a day as any. Then again, so was tomorrow. And the day after that. No. It would have to be today, as much as I dreaded it.

And so I spent the remainder of the day carefully avoiding any and all situations that could possibly give me the opportunity to approach the topic of my deep, dark past. I am a coward, I know. In my defense, I was terrified. I knew what had to be done but that did not mean that I felt ready to do it.

For every "what if" was an equal and opposite one. I didn't know ifI was ready to face it. The decision was made however, and I wasn't going to back out of it now. It was late evening when I finally brought it up.

Belle walked into the parlor to find me sitting in my usual armchair. She had excused herself after dinner as she often did for some time to herself and was now rejoining me in reading by the warm crackling fire. I handed her a large pink rose that I had only just picked a few minutes previously.

"What is this for?" she smiled broadly, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Something in my face must have warned her of trouble, for her expression was quickly exchanged for one of concern. This churned my stomach.

"I wish to speak with you about something of importance."

"Alright,"she answered as she lowered herself sloppily onto her designated armchair beside mine. I gestured to the rose held delicately in her left hand.

"Do you notice anything out of the ordinary about that rose?"

"Aside from the fact that it is in full bloom out of season?"