Decisions, decisions....

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Some time had passed, but exactly how much, I couldn’t be sure. Gathering myself together, I trudged my way to the front door, stopping momentarily to look down the street, hoping that I would see the returning headlights of Calvin’s car, even though I knew deep down inside that I wouldn’t. 

“Darla,” I greeted my sweet dog as she met me in the living room, “I’ve really messed up big this time.” Bending down to scratch the top of her head between her ears, I drug my feet onwards, making my way to my bedroom. Mom still hadn’t made it home, and for that I found myself incredibly thankful. 

Falling onto my bed, I stared at my cell phone in my hand. Should I call Calvin? It was getting pretty late. And he was pretty mad when he had sped away. But could I blame him? No, not really. Putting myself in his shoes, I thought about how I would’ve reacted if I had been him -- seeing him pull up with another girl in her vehicle, her planting a kiss on HIS cheek. 

Yeah, I would have been pretty pissed, too. 

But I couldn’t just let things end the way they had. I had to salvage anything that I could. 

Making my way into the text messaging section of my phone, I pulled up Calvin’s name and began writing a new text: 

‘I’m sorry. Please let me explain.’

Lightly running my finger over the simple message, I hit ‘send’ before I could chicken out and change my mind. Watching the tiny hourglass flip and spin a couple of times while it sent the message, I wondered if he would even actually respond. I wanted him to, of course, but a teeny little voice from somewhere deep inside was saying that I was an idiot if I actually thought for one second that he would respond.

Rolling over to my back, my eyelids heavy with exhaustion, I began to replay all of the events from tonight and earlier today in my head. How had things escalated so quickly? I wasn’t entirely sure. It’s funny how things never seem to be changing at all, and then once you take a minute to look back over any amount of time, everything is different. 

The quiet BEEP-BEEP of my phone shook me from my thoughts. Immediately snatching my phone from its spot next to me on my bed and unlocked the screen. A new text message! My fingers shook with anticipation as I opened the new message, hoping and praying that it was from Calvin.

‘What’s there to explain? I’m pretty sure that you said plenty by going on a date with him tonight.’ 

I could practically feel the venom pulsing through the words Calvin had sent. He was still pretty mad, obviously.

‘It’s not like that,’ I typed back, my fingers shaking the entire time. ‘Please, just hear me out,’ I added, and quickly hit ‘send.’ 

The wait for a response wasn’t quite as long as it had been for the first message, but Calvin’s words felt just as fierce:

‘It’s late. Not now.’ 

‘When?’ I asked quickly, refusing to let him go. 

‘I don’t know. Good night,’ came his reply. My heart sunk as I read his words. I had to fix this. Someway, somehow, I simply had to. Fresh tears pooling in my eyes fell onto my pillowcase as I turned over onto my side, trying to muffle the heavy sobs that coursed through my entire body. 

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“It’s me or him, Jenna, you have to choose,” Calvin’s words were ghostly, sending a chill that jolted me all the way to my bones. 

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