Alive-Not by choice (boyxboy)

^^^ For helping me with the story name.^^^

Shoutout:

fallingfromheaven: For doing the cover for this story, and my others. She id amazing at them.

*Jaydon's POV*

Why am I about to tell him this? He hates me enough as it is, I'm sure by telling him this it will only make him hate me more, but still there's a chance he might began to like me. Ha. Fat chance of that happening, but I'll try anything. Everyone at school already hates me and Dad hated me to start with so really what have I got to lose? I took a deep breath in. 

"Dad"

He grunted, so I guess that meant he was listening to me. 

'I'm... gay' I said, at first I wasn't sure if he heard me as I said it barely louder than a whisper. But then he stood up, and walked over to me. He stood over me with hate boring into his eyes at me. 

"YOU'RE WHAT?" He roared.

I wasn't going to repeat it again, he heard me the first time. 

"ANSWER ME!" He shouted in my face shaking me hard. I couldn't help myself, tears had began to fall from my eyes.

"Gay. Dad. I'm gay"

That was it. He raised his fist and punched me in the jaw and I fell to the floor. I knew what was coming next, it had happened many times before. He began hitting me, anywhere and everywhere. Each blow hurt more than the one before it, even though it hurt and my eyes were filling with tears. I knew I couldn't cry, it would only anger him more, and I'll get a worse beating than he planned to give me. 

"No-Son-Of-Mine-Is-Gay" He said, in between every punch. 

I closed my eyes tight and waited for him to be done with it. He kicked me in the ribs and I let out a cry of pain. Theres another rib he's broke. I think that makes 25 bones now he's broken in my body. A year this has been going on for. A whole year. I don't know how I've coped so long. I guess because I knew if I told someone no one would ever believe me. On the outside we look like a happy family. Dad's always made sure we put a smile one out side the house, well made sure I did anyway. I've kept it a secret from everyone, not even Amy, my elder sister has figured it out yet. 

I lifted my head out of my hands thinking Dad had finished. One last kick to my face and he walked away. I heard the front door open and close, he must have gone out. In too much pain to move, I just layed there and cried. I have no one. All my friends are gone, Dad hates me, Mum left when I was 4, the only person who can stand to me around me is Amy, but she's always at work doing extra time or in school so I hardly get to see her. It's just me and Dad. I used to have friends, until about 3 weeks ago that is. After a year of being in the closet, I decided to come out to everyone. I wish I could take it all back, it was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life. Everyone just left me. The only way I found to deal with the constant bullying and being ignored was selfharm. But I'd had enough of it now. Enough of everything. 

I found the strength from somewhere, to stand up and climb up the stairs to my room. I took of the belt from the jeans I was wearing of and tied one end to the curtain pole. On the other end, standing on a the chair that I kept by my desk, I placed my neck around the leather and buckled up the belt. I took one last look around my bedroom, and closed my eyes. I kicked away the chair and I dropped. The leather was pinching my skin, but I didn't struggle. I just hung there, until I could feel my mind starting to slip away.

I hadn't even left a note, because no one would care. 

I slipped in to unconscious...

I slipped away from all the pain and suffering... 

I, Jayden Doyle, had took my life at the mere age of 15. 

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So yeah, If you can't tell this story is going to be based around depression and suidice. It's something that I've wanted to write something on for a while. But always get putting it off because it was too personal. But I think I can cope with writing this.

I'm not going to go in to detail with my personal reasons for writing this story but I think what I've been through will be clearer later on in this story. 

Next Chapter coming in like a hour? And I promise, it will be longer than this one. I just firgured the next chapter, and this one would go better as 2 different ones.

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