Living London (An AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 26: Cold

*Rachel POV*

I walked out into the crisp air, instantly greeted by a cool breeze that tickled my ears. I opened my umbrella to the ground, and then raised it above my head. Turning on my heels, I stepped out onto the walkway along the street. A sudden shiver worked its way from my waist to the top of my head. I shortened my neck in response to the cold. Rain drops played at the hems of the umbrella, their near icy liquid not eager to drop to the ground.

I passed by a park, where bare trees' arms bowed and scooped at the air with their bony claws. A few trees had remaining leaves, which shuffled together, hissing. Cars in the distance swept by, sounding only slightly different than the wind itself. The eclectic sounds merged together, relaxed inhaling and exhaling. The cold gripped at my finger tips. And so, I carried on.

I found myself stopping along the road many times, diverting myself away from where I actually needed to go. I ended up crossing through the park I originally started at with the  excuse that it would be a shortcut back to the flat.

I bit my tongue as if punishing myself. I gripped my hands together, advancing in a proud, fast pace, cancelling out any objections I had for the time being. I approached the street. I exhaled. I lost my determination for a bit.

I snuck a glance at the flat as if it were watching me. Intimidated, I pressed forward. I stopped at the door. I didn't know if it was going to open, or if I wished it to. I inserted my keys, and twisted the doorknob.

...

I walked in the door, holding my breath. I looked around the room in front of me. Everything looked still. It was cold. The blinds were shut.

I exhaled. I could breathe and relax for at least a little while.

I opened the blinds, a bright light glaring straight into my face. I squinted. Turning my face away, I shivered again. The light provided no warmth.

I walked into the kitchen, heading immediately for the tea kettle that always sat on the stovetop unless otherwise removed. I hoisted it into the sink, and filled it with water. Flicking the stove on, I plopped the kettle on top. My hands were no longer occupied, so I stood in the kitchen, not knowing exactly what to do next.

The stove hissed, and I began to sink into thoughts.

Is Abby even here? Should I look for her? Is she alright?

I gripped my hands on the counter's edge, and then turning around. I paced for a minute.

I grabbed a mug from the counter. I dashed to the cupboard, ravaging through tea bag after tea bag. I placed it in the cup, and stared expectantly at the tea kettle.

I glared at it for not boiling quick enough. I tried to keep myself from getting worried. I got more worried.

The tea kettle screamed. I switched it off. I poured the water onto the teabag, it fluttering upwards, brown clouds elevating it to the surface of the water.

I turned around.

"You look stressed," she said.

"Um, yes. I suppose I am." I backed into the counter. I felt thrown off. Even if I knew she could appear at any minute. I slipped a spoon out of the drawer below me, and began stirring the tea through.

The spoon clattering against the mug filled the silence between us.

I looked behind her. I raised my eyebrows. She moved out of the way. I opened the fridge, and took milk out of it, promptly pouring it into my tea, creating a very awkward moment. I returned the milk, feeling her eyes follow me as I did so.

I mixed the tea again. More clattering.

I finally spoke, "I think we need to talk. I know that sounds ominous, but I don't know any other way to say it."

"Talk about what?" There was an edge to her tone.

I took my tea with me to the other room. I lit the fireplace.

"I think you know," I said, turning around. She was leaning up against the wall, far away from me.

She rolled her eyes.

I sighed angrily. "I don't deserve this, okay? Can we please just discuss this? I didn't want what happened to me to happen either. Whether or not you believe that is out of my control. I'm not telling you what to think. Just know that if you decide to be with him, I won't be a part of that. I won't support it. Every time I'm around him, I get afraid. And I'm afraid for you. But I can't tell you what to do."

I sat on the couch. She followed and sat as well, but in a corner distant from me.

"I just don't believe he would've done that. He's the nicest guy I've ever met. It doesn't match up."

"Well you're going to have to choose who to believe. I don't mean to be mean or anything, but are you really believing him over me? You've known him for less than a month. It's not that I'm spectacular, but if I were you, I would trust someone I knew longer."

"Are you seriously going to guilt trip me? You know what, you're turning into your mom. I was right about that. Since I've been here, you've been against everyone I've enjoyed. You say that you like England so much, but wouldn't you hate it if you went through so many problems like this? That doesn't match up. None of this does."

Tears collected in my eyes. My fists tightened on my lap. I felt terrible for what I said. But I wasn't like my mom. Not at all.

My throat got caught at first, "-If that's what you believe, than so be it. I stand my case. I won't be supportive of your relationship. It pains me to do so. But if you find that James is who I think he is, please don't let him do what he did you me. I'm not sure if that was a one time thing that he did. Maybe he's a great person. Or maybe he changed. But I care too much about you for you to ignore any signs you might see. Please do something if you see them."

I looked down at my lap. I looked up at her. Her eyes looked intensely into mine. She slammed her fist on the couch, and suddenly stood, spinning around, and disappearing out of the room.

The fire died. I drank my cold tea and shivered. I looked down into the deep, empty cup. Its saggy teabag slumped in the corner. I felt bad for it, somehow.

I placed the mug overly carefully in the sink. I shivered.

I grabbed my books and folded them into my arms. I had to go to class.

I left the silent room behind me.