Leading You Home

Tenth

"And I'd be smart to walk away,
But you're quicksand..."
- Taylor Swift, Treacherous

_____

I left before Bradley or Lou woke up.

Ever since I started staying in their house, I've been driving Bradley and Lou to school, so I feel bad for ditching them today but I can't imagine facing Bradley after what happened. At least not for a little while. And that's going to be so obvious to him when he wakes up to find me gone.

When I got in my car, I texted Carrie to ask if she wanted a ride. She was more than happy to accept my offer. Even though she has her license, her car isn't in the best shape right now. Her brakes haven't been very good lately and they finally went out a couple days ago so her parents insist that it stay in the shop to get fixed. It's been there ever since. Turns out the problem was a tad bit more complicated and required more time in the shop.

As she jogs out of her house and toward my car I recall the conversation we had on the phone last night, the one where I promised her I'd give Clark Haynes a chance. And then I quickly remembered what Bradley said about him.

"Hey!" Carrie cheerfully greets me as she jumps in the passenger seat. Her arms are stuffed full of textbooks and study material. "Thank you so much for the ride. I know it's not on the way but I couldn't stand to sit in the car with my Mom listening to old gospel songs all the way to school."

Cringing at the thought, I say, "No problem."

I try to keep my mind off him for the rest of the car ride but it turns out to be harder than it should be. On top of everything that is already going on in my life, why'd this have to get thrown at me as well? Last night I tried to convince myself that it was only a stupid kiss that meant nothing. Which is true, but sitting next to Carrie now as she babbles on about clothes, food, boys, movies and all the other things she loves I realize I'm holding yet another thing back from her. Imagining what she would say or do if I told her the whole truth about the past week, makes me feel like the poorest excuse for a best friend.

When we get to the school, I park in my usual spot and kill the engine.

"Let's hope Mrs. Hughes is in a good mood today because I totally spaced on our English essay. Do you think she'll give me an extension?" She inquiries as she collects her things.

"Carrie, hold on," I say, turning to her before she can open the car door. I reach up for a lock of my hair, wondering if I'm actually going to do this. My heart is hammering in my chest and I can hardly find my words. Carrie's looking at me, waiting. "I need to..."

Before I can stumble some more on trying to talk, there is a loud knock on the passenger side window. The two of us jump in surprise. Bradley is at Carrie's window, glancing between the two of us, his eyes staying on mine a little too long. My best friend rolls her eyes and sighs so loud I wouldn't be surprised if Bradley heard it through the car door. We get out and I start to feel a small headache emerging.

"What do you want?" Carrie snaps at him, the door open and in between the two of them.

Bradley smiles sweetly and says, "Good to see you too, sunshine."

She groans, shuts the car door and pushes past him. While her back is turned, Bradley looks over at me and mouths, Are you okay?

I furrow my eyebrows and question him with my eyes. Is he referring to what happened last night or me leaving so early this morning? Before he can explain, Carrie is facing him again.