Leading You Home

Eleventh

"Is this real life
Why can't I decide
I think I'll stay awhile..."
-Leighton Meester, Dreaming

_____

"Your world would be easier if I didn't come back," Chuck said solemnly.

"That's true," Blair admitted, taking a deep breath before looking into the eyes of the man she loved. "But it wouldn't be my world without you in it."

"That scene gets me every time," Carrie croaks. She's sitting on the floor with her back against her bed frame. "Macaron?" She asks, offering me a raspberry macaron without glancing away from the TV. I'm lying on my stomach on her ocean blue bed sheets, my head at the end of her bed. Setting down my phone, I take the small, pink sweet out of my friends hand and take a bit. Macarons are my favorite sweets in the world, but Carrie gets her's from Walmart and they're not half as good as the ones my Dad sends me from Manhattan.

My phone buzzes beside me, and I giggle quietly at the text I just received.

"They belong together," Carrie says softly before taking her own bite of a macaron, only it's pistachio.

"No doubt," I agree, shoving the rest of the small cake into my mouth before typing a response to the text.

"No couple has ever belonged together, more," she continues. I mumble an agreement, still typing.

"Who are you texting?" Carrie's voice is curious but irritated at the same time. I look up from my phone. She is staring at me intensely with her macaron held out in front of her face, inches from being eaten.

"Molly." Lie. "She's using Mom's phone to text me."

Carrie looks skeptical, and I hate, hate, lying to her. I hate lying period, but how can I tell her I'm texting her ex-boyfriend who says he can't wait to see me, at his house, which just so happens to be where I'm secretly living?

"I bet she misses you," Carrie comments, losing any trace of irritability.

"Yeah," I reply curtly, surprised by the guilt welling up in my chest. I realize then that I haven't talked to Molly since I left home. I wonder how she is, if they're treating her well, if she wonders about me. I make a mental note to somehow get a hold of her soon.

"I still can't believe that rat Dave did this to you," Carrie exclaims angrily. "Have you talked to your Mom since?"

I nod. "We talk. Dave can't keep her from doing that."

Carrie's face grows worrisome. "Where are you going to go after high school? I mean, you can't stay with Emma forever right?"

I chuckle drearily. "Right." I rub my eyes and think. "Um, I'm not sure yet. I think I'll call my Dad soon, or Alice, and ask about moving in after graduation."

"To New York?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

She sighs. "I feel so bad that you can't just stay here. My parents are so evil!" She groans.

"No, they think I'm evil."

"True. But after all these years they should know you're not going anywhere. You're my best friend and they have to get over that," she announces, slapping the mattress as if to finalize her statement. We start to laugh and I wonder if this would be a good time to tell her about all that has happened with Bradley. Maybe if I do it now, it wouldn't be so bad. I can just explain. Everything.