370 days in a year

Shirley's death Anniversary

It rained on the anniversary of Shirley's death. Suzaku found Lelouch staring into the mirror, one hand caressing his left eye absent-mindedly as if trying to look for the trace of Geass that was no longer there. He saw Suzaku standing at the door from the reflection, and the hopeful look Suzaku was starting to despise returned to his face. He never gave that look to anyone other than Suzaku.

What exactly was Lelouch expecting from him?

Tired of looking expectantly and getting nothing in return, Lelouch returned to staring at his own reflection, looking into the violet of his own eyes.

"Lelouch," Suzaku's voice was soft, like he was afraid Lelouch would run away from him if he didn't choose his words wisely. "Your brothers and sisters are expecting you to join them for dinner."

Lelouch made no move for a moment and Suzaku wondered if his words were actually registered. It was not until approximately five minutes later that Lelouch finally tore his eyes away from the mirror to join his siblings in the dining hall, Suzaku following a few steps behind him.

The slight limp in his steps had almost vanished and more colours had returned to his skin; these, Suzaku noted with utmost relief. He was actually afraid of Lelouch pulling the missing act again this time around. The palace had made notes of all dates that might affect the prince's mental stability.

Watching Lelouch silently, Suzaku wondered why he once suspected Lelouch of killing Shirley. He should have known that the anguish cry he heard before he found Shirley was nothing less than genuine.

Dinner was pleasant. Nunnally talked to Lelouch about various things she found amusing, mostly about the time when they were still at school. She obviously did not mind her brother's lack of verbal response at all. Suzaku once asked her about it. Nunnally's only answer was that having Lelouch smile at her was more than enough. The young prince's smile slipped for a split second when Nunnally mentioned Shirley's name.

The next day, Schneizel found a note on his desk written in Lelouch's princely handwriting, asking if it was possible for him to visit Japan for a couple of days.

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It's the 368th day since I woke up in the palace,

My brother Schneizel told me he would hand the throne over to me when I fully recover. For a moment, I see a younger version of him looking at me with gentle eyes and brotherly smile. When he spoke to me today, I found no trace of the cunning man he is known to be. There was no trace of malice or ill-intention; just genuine brotherly love I always knew he had towards us his younger siblings. He kissed my forehead before leaving.

When I was little, before all the tragedy that torn us all apart, I think I remember Father doing the same thing too. He'd spent some time with us, and before he left, he'd leave a kiss on our foreheads.

And yet, he was the same person who I thought would not hesitate to use his children as tools to aid his cause. But now, after everything, I know better. I know, Father, that in the depth of the heart I thought you abandoned, you love your children. I know you loved us. I know you loved me.

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