It Just So Happens...

Chapter 4: Colder Weather

They had finally had it; their first fight. It came a few weeks after their first date. They weren't an official couple, and that made Jensen anxious. Misha told him that even though he had feelings for Jensen, he didn't feel right being with him only months after a divorce. Jensen knew that Misha was right, but he didn't want him to be. He felt bad for felling this way, but he just felt like being with Misha would make things easier. Misha insisted that they would both know when the time was right, but he just couldn't right then. Now, Jensen was drunk and asleep on the back porch and Misha was curled up in an oversized sweater with a big cup of coffee (with maybe a shot or two of tequila in the cup as well), in complete silence. Bobby, who had undergone surgery in the past week was curled up next to Misha's feet, sound asleep. Misha thought about the date. He pondered why Jensen had gone through so much trouble to make him feel better. He kept the giant bear in the small armchair in his room, until he went to bed, and then he cuddled with it. He hadn't had a restless night since the bear entered his life. No tossing or turning, just peaceful sleep. His fingers fondled at the cross that hung around his neck, as he remembered the flustered face of Jensen only a few hours earlier.

"Jensen, I just don't feel comfortable being with you right now. You're still healing, and if you and I are going to be together, I don't want it to be a rebound fling."
"It's not! I am over Danneel! Our divorce was my decision. Well, it was mutual, but I decided to finalize it. I want to be with you!"

"I understand that, and I want to be with you too, but you're not over her. You were together for how long? 9 years? You don't get over a marriage of that long that quickly. You have a child together, Jensen! Does she even know that you like guys?"

"We were together for 8 years. And, no, but she adores you! And you adore her! Yes, I was with Danni for a long time, but she's already moved on, why is it so hard to believe that I've moved on, too?"

"Because she's not over you. She's with that guy to keep from crying at night. She loved you with all her heart, Jensen, that's why she let you go, because she loved you and knew that you needed to find yourself."

"How do you know?"
"She told me. The other night, you fell asleep with JJ on your chest, and we talked. And she told me that she knew that I would be good for you. She could tell that you had feelings for me and I confessed that I had feelings for you, as well. She wants what's best for you. She always has."

"So, why won't you be with me?"
"Because you need time to heal. I am still here with you. I'm just not with you. It's best you heal yourself for now.. I want you to know that you can do it on your own, because if anything ever happens between us, I don't want you to think that I was the reason you got better, because it'll be so much harder for you to get better again."

At that point he shook his head, grabbed the case of beer from the fridge and went outside.

Misha closed his eyes and held the cross tight in his hand as he said a short prayer. He finished the last of his coffee and put the cup in the sink on his way to get Jensen into bed. He quietly opened the sliding door, noted how freezing it was and padded over to where the sleeping man lay. Jensen's mouth was slightly agape, soft snores escaping. His arms were folded across his chest, covering the silly reindeer face on his sweater. Misha smiled to himself as he shook Jensen lightly.

"Come on, love, let's get you to bed."

Jensen stirred and opened his bloodshot eyes. A small smile crept on his face as he peered into the blue orbs of his roommate. He sat up slowly as Misha picked up the empty bottles and put them back in the empty slots in the case. He picked up the case, and helped Jensen to his feet. The two hobbled into the house. Misha placed the bottles on the dining room table and then helped Jensen back to his room. Jensen curled up into his bed and covered himself with his duvet. Just as Misha was about to leave, he felt a strong tug on his sweater. He turned to see two bloodshot green eyes beckoning him to stay. For a few seconds, Misha battled within himself. Part of him told him to walk up and finish cleaning the house. But another part looked at the watery, green irises that looked at him so pleadingly and he broke down. He sighed and crawled in the bed beside Jensen and cradled Jensen's head. Jensen wrapped his arms around Misha's smaller frame and held him close. The two spent most of the day like this.