Dear Insanity

xAutomatic Stopx

Nobody answered, not like I expected anyone to xD 2.3k reads isn't that impressive! Anyhoe, the whole meaning of that song was letting go and breaking the rules, like Alexxa did. She chose to not care about Gabriel for a few hours and get stoned with her friends, sneaking out of the institution.

Sounds so exhilarating.. The picture is of Jodie, only without the tattoo.

The song is Automatic Stop by The Strokes (A legendary indie band, in my opinion). Check the song out, it's on the sidee --->

Thanks for the votes I got on the last chapter, it motivated me to update (:

xxx

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There was a knock at the door. Jodie sighed, not even bothering to sit up. "They probably came to kick me out again," He muttered, playing with a strand of my considerably longer hair. Lillian was in the showers, and I would be next. For now, Jodie had been hanging out with me to keep my mind off something that had been bothering me lately.

My urges.

Every time I glanced at a faint scar on my wrist, so unnoticeable unless you really, truly stared, you would be able to make out tiny white lines scattered up the inside of my left arm. I hadn't had them in a while, but I guess not seeing Gabriel added onto being in here brought the urges back.

They would creep into my mind when I least expected them to, bringing me from whatever half pleasant thought I would be dreaming up. They would come at the oddest of times, making my eyes run down to where my arm, which was once used as a canvas, lied.

"Hey," his voice was soft- he caught me glancing again. "You're going to be fine, I promise."

I nodded, but it was so obvious I didn't believe him.

I started to cut  the day after my family died. It became an addiction, a way of being freed from this place. Eventually, after a suicide attempt, the institution noticed and put a stop to it. I had a plastic spork for eating, and someone took all the seemingly sharp objects from my room. Scratching didn't do anything for me, so I stopped, despite how difficult it was.

I would go on crazed streaks where I would bite myself, or do anything at all to cause harm. It was all for that high, although it only lasted a few seconds. It made me forget and focus on the physical pain, not the emotional one.

Since we ignored the person at the door, they barged themselves in just as I tore my gaze unwillingly from my arm. "Miss Ward?" A soft-featured face asked. I swallowed, running my eyes down her. She couldn't have been older than twenty five, and was only a few inches taller than me.

She could easily be crushed in this place. "That's me." I rose an eyebrow in recognition, laying my head back down on Jodie. It became common for me to use him as a pillow, as his chest was wicked comfortable. Lillian didn't mind- It was clear they both were in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and someone like me couldn't tear them apart.

Especially someone like me.

"You have two visitors downstairs," she informed me.

"Do they have names?" I asked, not caring much anymore.

She nodded, looking down at her clipboard. "Luna Hendricks and Gabriel Hawthorne."