07 | Ashton

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"Are you really lifting weights and reading Frankenstein right now?" Michael asks me from my doorway, leaning against it. I told him to come over after work, and I guess my mom let him in. I was too focused on the book to notice much of anything.

I put the dumbbell down and give him an annoyed look. People want me to do the right thing, but as soon as I try to, everyone has something to say.

"Yeah," I tell him, "It's actually a pretty good book."

"And why are you lifting weights while reading it?" he walks over to my desk chair and plops down, "Is there some sort of tournament that involves a debate and a physical fight?"

I close the book and roll my eyes, setting it down beside the dumbbell. I have to be nice, I have to be a good friend. I can't call him an idiot.

"My brother and I made a list of things to do to get Maddie back," I explain instead, getting up to try and find it to show to him. "One of the things is getting bigger muscles. Harry came up with that one, obviously."

I unzip my backpack and open each folder to try and find where I put the list. When it's not in any of them, I pull it open further and rummage inside. I can't remember where I put it, but there's no way I lost it.

"So that's why you've been so weird," he chuckles, "How long is this list?"

"Just a few things," I say distractedly, pushing my bag off to the side and wandering toward him to look in my desk. I slide open a drawer and start going through it, "Do better in school, keep it in my pants, things like that."

"And how are you doing with the second one?"

I stop what I'm doing and look up at him, sliding the drawer shut slowly. He lifts his eyebrows at me.

"Perfectly fine," I say, shaking my head and opening another drawer, "Why? You don't think I can do it?"

"I was just asking," he says, and I can sense the smile in his voice. He doesn't.

But of course, I wouldn't think so if I was anyone else either. I mean, the one time that Maddie and I broke up, I slept with Lily.

But that's going to change.

I'm a little surprised myself at how well I'm doing, not going to parties and setting myself up to make a mistake. I've been so focused on doing good things and being better, that I have no time to even accidentally do a bad thing. It's amazing how that works.

"How's Maddie?" I ask. I'd much rather talk about her and her well-being. I can't find the list anywhere, anyway. "I saw she was going to work with you."

"Yeah, she--"

"Ashton!" My mom calls up the stairs, "Can you take the garbage out, please?"

"Hold that thought," I tell Michael, shutting the other drawer. In the past, I would have ignored her and let Michael continue talking. Maddie would have taken precedence over everything. She still does, but in a different way. Being a better son is also on the list. I run out my door and down the stairs.

When I get downstairs, my mom is in the kitchen washing dishes. Harry must be in his room, because he isn't down here.

"Oh!" My mom seems shocked to see me, "That may be the fastest you've ever responded."

I smile and bite my tongue to keep from making a smart remark. I grab the garbage bag from beside the sink and carry it out to the can in the front yard. My shoes are already on, me having immediately gone up to read.

When I reach the tree lawn, I linger there for a second, looking down the quiet, empty street. Around the corner is Maddie's house, and I can't help but wonder what she's up to. I hope she's getting better, too.

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