The Past Should Stay in the Past

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Spark's P.O.V

Apparently Hanji got scolded for making such a big scene when I entered the eating area, but we laugh about it later as she continues with my tour outside the buildings. Since I have a pretty good memory (which I sometimes hate), I know I will be able to remember where everything is. The location of the buildings around the property of headquarters make little sense to me, but that might have something to do with the fact that I haven't been around civilization in a while.  Eventually, Hanji and I start a conversation on Titans.

"Oh, they're just so fascinating! It breaks my heart to see even one killed for no reason." I shake my head, appalled at her fascination with the monstrosities.  I reason,

"Titans are the enemy of humanity, so why are you sad when one is killed?" She tilts her head so her glasses are at an angle where I can't see her eyes. This... freaks me out a bit.

"They do have feelings, just like us in my eyes." The brunette speaks with an edge to her voice. "Only when they provoke me do I really get angry with them." Aaaand back to her cheery self. I have a feeling I'll never figure her out. "Well, Eren's tests begin in about an hour, so you can do as you please until then. I'll be in my office if you need me!" With that, the crazed woman turns and runs off to do who-knows-what, while I'm left there to stand alone.  I simply remain still, dumbfounded on what I'm to do for the next hour. Shrugging, I am about to head into the Mess Hall to make some tea when someone calls my name.

   "Spark!  Spark, over here!"  Turning my head, I spot a figure in the shadow of the main building.  Frowning, I notice that the person in question is wearing a cloak that conceals their identity.  I approach slowly, glancing around to ensure no one sees me as I duck out of sight.  I finally recognize the person when he draws his hood back– it's Farlan that's quitting in the shadows.  I lean against the stone and stare at him for a moment, surprised by his impromptu visit.

   "Hey Farlan, what are you doing here?"  We both keep our voices low to avoid drawing attention to ourselves.  He smiles sheepishly before his features fall into a serious expression.

   "I poked around for any information for your Farlan–" he seems a bit awkward talking about someone else with his name, "but I drew a blank.  The superiors don't seem to know anything, and no one else knows, either."  I didn't expect him to find much– when I left, I made sure the only people that remembered the ties I held in my human life were either dead or left alive on oath.  Despite my sad acceptance, I'm still stuck on the fact that he's hiding from everyone.

   "Okay, quick question– why are you hiding?"  I can't see his full expression, shrouded as it is by his hood, as he answers softly,

   "Ever since the Titan Boy was discovered, the Survey Corps' Headquarters has been on lockdown– only members are allowed in.  Why?  I have no idea, but it sure is a pain sometimes."  I nod, but then sink slowly into my thoughts.  There's a lot to sort through in my mind, but I try to tackle each problem on its own.  No information on Farlan....  What happened to you?  I look at the man in front of me and smile.

   "Thank you for everything, Farlan.  Hopefully I'll see you in town, but if what you say is true, then if you get caught here you'll be thrown in jail.  I suggest you get away safely– for both of our sakes."  He nods, and turns to go.  "Wait.  I mean it– thank you."  He smiles at me before heading out of headquarters via the shadows.  I make sure no one is around before sliding out of the shadowed area, and heading towards the kitchen.  No one disturbs me thankfully, as I'm so lost in my thoughts I probably wouldn't even hear their call.

   Once in the kitchen, I run into none other than Captain Shorty.

   "Oh, hello."  I don't feel like insulting the man, too busy being lost within my own mind.  "Where's the tea?"  He silently points to a cupboard, and I open it to see a small assortment of teas.  I stare at the impressive stash for a moment before reaching forward to sort through it, looking for any brands I recognize.  Eventually I come across Earl Grey, one of my favorites.  There are a bunch other kinds too, but I elect to ignore them as I set about to brewing the drink.

   "What were you doing next to the main building earlier?"  Shorty's cold voice makes my blood freeze.  How did he find out about that?

    "Nothing."  Apparently my answer is too short for his liking, for he lets loose a low growl in irritation.  I continue to brew my tea, trying to ignore the murderous aura that's festering behind me.  It's hard to focus on the more important crisis I'm having in my head when someone's who's shorter than you wants to murder you, I guess.  Huh.  Never thought I'd deal with this before.

   "Listen brat, I am tired of your attitude towards us.  Now if you don't tell me who you were talking to, then I'll find out the hard way."  Silence fills the room after his quiet but raged-filled voice echoes throughout the space.  I can feel sadness fill me rather than anger– sadness for leaving the forest, sadness for being what I am, and sadness for losing Farlan.  I turn towards him, the now-finished tea in my hands.  I take a moment to observe him with keen eyes: eyes he can't see behind my bangs.

   "You have no business messing with people who associate themselves with me."  My voice is filled with despair, and I can see confusion in Levi's eyes as he stares at me.  "What's the point anymore?  I've lost everyone I've ever known– to one force or another– and you and the others may be no exception to that.  You want to know what I was doing?  I was digging around for information on Farlan, a friend whom I had known long ago." 

   Something unidentifiable brews in his eyes.  Is that... sadness?  Maybe surprise?  I continue, "My past is something no one knows, and I plan to keep it that way if I can help it.  My only hope and dream is to be reunited with Farlan, someone who I hold very close to my heart.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Hanji's office."  I don't know when my eyes began to swim with tears, but they finally begin to streak down my cheeks as I'm walking to the brunette's office.

   Farlan... things are different now.  I'm the Guardian– protector of the Forest of Giant Trees.  How did I get this way?  You remember how, don't you?  It was so long ago, but the memory still burns into my mind like a brand...  Like something of a nightmare that won't ever leave me alone.  Those men... they were cruel to others– not just me.  But during that time you weren't there.  They forced you to run, to hide– to avoid seeing and possibly rescuing me altogether....  We never saw each other again after that day.  But no matter where you are or what it takes, I promise...

   I will find you.

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