Chapter Three
Right after I crashed into the bush, we disappeared. I was so happy, because maybe now we were finally going to Katherine's time. Maybe now I could kidnap her and rescue my smexy Jer-Jer and we could have beautiful babies together.
But that didn't happen.
Instead, all of us landed on a boat's deck. We stood up and looked around, and I saw a couple standing on the edge of the front of the ship, their hands flapping in the wind like retarded flamingos.
"I'm the queen of the world!" the guy shouted.
Oh. My. Gosh. I know where this ends. Jack and Rose! Titantic!
But instead of me getting to freak out over Jack's perfection, Damon stormed over to them and pushed Jack off of the ship. "This is not how this story ends," Damon said, all sassy-like. He even snapped his fingers like a gay guy. I think it turned Jacob on, because he started to lick his lips and rip apart his invisible shirt.
Damon took Jack's place by Rose and wrapped his hands around her waist. He laughed like an evil scientist who had just discovered zebra life on another planet. "Time for Rosie to get some Damon loving."
Rose turned around and gasped, slapping Damon. But he didn't even flinch. He just grinned, showing off his kitty-fangs. "Do ya love me now?"
"What do you think?" Rose put her hands on her hips. "You just pushed my sexy man friend off a boat to his death!"
Damon looked really confused. "I thought girls liked bad boys....."
Rose just snorted at him and walked away, pushing waiters off the deck in her rage. Damon rolled his eyes. "Diva." He muttered, and everyone grabbed his arm. "Okay, this time we're going to the right time!" And just like that, they were in a dimly lit room watching a woman give birth.
"My virgin eyes!" Jacob screamed, diving to the floor.
"Perfect timing." Damon smiled at the screaming woman. "Push, push!"
Wow, now Damon was helping a woman give birth? There is so much I don't know about that guy.
Then, just like that, the baby shot out of the woman, right into Stefan's outstretched arms. "Oh my goodness, child!" he screamed in a very manly way.
"Okay, grab my arm, let's go!" Damon ordered, pulling a snivelling Jacob off the floor. Everyone grabbed on and then BUH-BAM we were back at Taco Johns.
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Cousin Love (A Vampire Diaries fanfiction)
FanfictionFor as long as Elena Gilbert can remember, she has had deep, indescribable feelings for someone. No, not for Stefan, or for Damon, but for some other hot dude in her life. Jeremy Sillypants Gilbert. Now that they know that they are not really sibli...
