Migraines and Sore Throats

Chapter 4

"....Pardon...me for yelling and telling you green, gardens are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me"

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CG: OKAY BUT IMAGINE THIS;
CG: YOU'RE JUST SITTING AROUND ON YOUR ASS DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PRODUCTIVE AS USUAL WHEN SUDDENLY, THERE'S A KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR.
CG: YOU STAND UP, PANIC TAKING YOU OVER. ARE YOU GOING TO DIE? IS TODAY THE DAY THE DRONES COME ALONG AND DEMAND YOUR, YOUR MATESPRIT'S AND YOUR KISMEISIS' SLURRY? IS THIS THE DAY YOU EITHER DIE OR GET DRAFTED?
CG: YOU WALK OVER TO YOUR DOOR, READY FOR DEATH OR A LONG LIFE OF SLAVERY. UPON OPENEING THE DOOR THERE IS A DRONE. THE DRONE HANDS YOU A NOTE FROM HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION'S PERSONAL DESK.
CG: THE NOTE CLEARLY STATES THAT YOU ARE ONE OF THE LUCKY AND VERY FEW TROLLS WITH A CHOICE. YOU CAN EITHER A) GO FOR THE CERTAIN FATE THAT A VAST MAJORITY OF THE OTHER TROLLS WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH OR B) YOU CAN GO ON FULL HAND TO HAND COMBAT WITH HER AND FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM.
CG: AND THE COMBAT RULES ARE THAT BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO WEAPONS OF ANY KIND AND NO USE OF ANY POWERS. IF YOU HAPPEN WIN, WHICH MEANS YOU KILL HER OR FIGHT HER TO A POINT WHERE SHE JUST CAN'T GO ON, THEN YOU HAVE THE CHOICE OF JUST LIVING YOUR FREE LIFE HERE ON ALTERNIA OR YOU CAN TAKE OVER HER PLACE S RULER OF THE EMPIRE.
CG: BUT IF YOU LOSE, WHICH MEANS SHE KILLS YOU OR YOU JUST CAN'T GO ON, SHE CAN CHOOSE TO FEED YOU TO THE GL'BGOLYB OR SHE CAN DRAFT YOU.
CG: WOULD YOU GO FOR THE CHANCE AT FREEDOM?
TA: okay fiir2t of all, that would liiterally never happen. the empre22 ii2 way two huge of a biitch two allow anyone el2e a chance at ruliing. iit ju2t ii2n't iin her nature.
TA: 2econd of all 2he would defiiniitely wiin. 2he'd go agaiin2t the rule2 and briing iim weapon2 or 2ome 2hiit. even iif 2he DIID follow tho2e rule2 2he'd 2tiill wiin. 2he'2 been aliive a fuck of a long tiime dude, 2he'2 a hell of a lot more 2kiilled iin battle.
TA: thii2 que2tiion ii2 unrealii2tiic KK.
CG: JESUS FUCK. IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THAT REALISTIC NOOK SNIFFER. I'M JUST SAYING WHAT IF.
TA: iit'll never happen.
CG: ANSWER THE QUESTION.
TA: fiine.
TA: iif there wa2 even the 2liighte2t chance that ii would wiin ii 2uppo2e ii would fiight her.
TA: and iif ii diid wiin ii would go for the emperor giig.
TA: but iit'd be kiind of iimpo22iible. ii've been usiing my p2iioniic2 a lot lately. ii hardly u2e my niinja 2tar2 anymore.
CG: PFFFT. NINJA STARS.
CG: I SOMETIMES FORGET HOW BIG OF A FUCKING NERD YOU ARE.
CG: USE A *REAL* WEAPON. ONE THAT ISN'T RIPPED STRAIGHT OUT OF TROLL ANIME.
TA: fuck you. my niinja 2tar2 are fuckiing cool.
TA: unliike your 2tupiid 2iickle. you can't even u2e iit riight. ii bet all you do ii2 2wii2h iit around liike a dumba22.
CG: WOW FUCK YOU TOO YOU SCUM SUCKING ASSHOLE.
CG: I KNOW HOW TO USE MY SICKLE AND I DON'T JUST "SWISH IT AROUND."
CG: SO GO FUCK YOURSELF, ASSHOLE.
TA: damn KK. you fliipped from being my friiend two full on piitch fliirtiing wiith me in two 2econd2.
TA: iit'2 a new record ii'm iimpre22ed.
CG: OH HA HA HA VERY FUNNY JACKASS.
TA: thank you. ii try very hard two be thii2 hiilariiou2.
CG: WHATEVER DUDE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, I NEED TO GO DO SOME SHIT FOR CRABDAD.
TA: alriight, ii'll be waiitiing.

Sollux rubbed his eyes. He was tired. He and Karkat had been talking for hours, it was already the middle of the day. While other trolls were fast asleep in their recoupercoons he and Karkat were curled up at their desks having a nice long conversation about no topic in particular. This has been happening a lot lately, they talk to each other for hours on end until one or both of them pass out from exhaustion. It was usually Karkat that passed out.

The Gemini troll switched tabs on his husktop, moving from Trollian to some lame new coding format he had found. It was supposed to be an exciting challenge but really this format looked like it was made for simple minded coders. As he began his work his mind began wandering back to the grey texted troll and their conversation. Specifically their odd flirting. The two flirted with each other in the pitch, pale, and red quadrants for a very long time and it was confusing. They could never really pinpoint what they had going on with each other, and frankly neither could anyone else, but they knew they had some sort of special connection.