Do you miss me? (frerard)

Words hurt most when you leave them unsaid

Frank walked up to the coffee shop him and Gerard were meant to meet at, it was 11:45, frank was early which was surprising as he was usually late to everything.What was more surprising however was that when he walked in he saw Gerard who was busy sketching in the corner of the shop. Gerard was sat at a table with to cups of coffee placed at the other end of the table. Gerard looked up from his sketch and made eye contact with the smaller more fragile looking figure. Gerard smiled sadly only to return to his drawing. He was removed from his thoughts when frank sat opposite him.

"Hello frank" Gerard spoke in almost a whisper, like his was talking to a skittish cat that he didn't want to scare away.

"Why do you want to talk to me Gerard? It doesn't make sense, you made it pretty clear yesterday what your decision was. Do you not care what emotional pain you put me through, do i mean that little to you. Was everything on stage just a bit of fun to you, it meant everything to me Gerard. You don't understand what it's like for you to do that and then being completely ignored when you bring it up and try and get an explanation. I don't understand and i want to i really do" frank got quieter and dropped his head trying his best not to let the tears flow.

"I wanted to talk to you about all that actually. Ummm..... I don't know where to start.....Well i guess the beginning. When all of the stage shit started it was just a bit of fun to me, it made the shows more entertaining for the fans, but as i got to know you a whole lot more it became different, i never actually told you about it cause well i didn't want to accept the fact that i wasn't straight. Then i met Lindsey and well i liked her alot as well and it was better for me to start a relationship with her cause i wouldn't get any homophobic comments or anything. Frank it hurt what you said yesterday cause i want it to be something i always have done but you know what its like. You have jamia and i have Lindsey and even if my feelings towards her aren't the same as what she feels towards me, she still means alot to me. We have kids frank i can't let my feelings towards you get in the way of the fact that i love bandit with all my heart and think about jamia, Lindsey, bandit, cherry and lilly think about what would happen if you and i got together. As much as i wish we could be together we can't its not fair on them." Gerard had tears streaming down his face.

Frank simply nodded and got up to leave. He couldn't be there any more he needed to get out of the shop and sadly out of his marriage. Frank hated lying especially to himself, he wanted to tell Gerard that he loved him that he was in love with him, it was killing frank on the inside, he wanted it to be gerard and frank, he had always wanted that but he had jamia. There was no denying the fact that jamia was well and truly head over heels in love with frank but for once frank had to think of himself as he was breaking inside and out. You could see day by day he got weaker, he looked a little more lost, he smoked a few more cigarettes and he sound less and less interested in life.

He kept walking until he came across his small home which inhabited his world and his nightmare. He unlocked the door as he usually would and greeted his wife as normal. He always thought to himself that it wouldn't be difficult to express his emotion. However whenever she talked to him or smiled at him he saw the love in her eyes the love he didn't feel, he was broken.