"Hey."
"Hi. I Um, so, how? This, um. Yeah, I just," I stammer over my words.
"How are you?"
"Fine, I guess, and yourself?"
"As well as can be expected when one has experienced a traumatic event and the anniversary of the event is the up-coming weekend," she sounds hurt, but also angry.
"What are we going to do this weekend?"
"I was thinking we could go to that State Park she liked down the road and hike up to all her favorite waterfalls and just spend the day remembering her. Did you have any ideas?"
"No, that sounds great." I choke back that tears, "What time do you wanna meet?"
"Saturday, at the park around 7:30?"
"Perfect, um, I have to go. It was nice talking to you Mars. I'll see you Saturday."
"Okay. Bye, Teds."
When the connection ends I lose all control. I don't know how I managed to keep it together as long as I did. With every passing second, the thoughts of my best friend buried me more and more. They were suffocating. It has been a year and I still haven't learned how to live without her. Will I ever truly learn?
A vibration in my hands pulls me from my thoughts.
Made it home. You call Maura? -Ads
Yeah. -T
You OK? -Ads
Not rly, but I will be.. -T
OK.. let me know if you need me :* -Ads
I will.. promise -T
I wipe the tears from my face and slowly get back on my feet. 'Water or straight to bed? Bed.'
***
"Arizona, come on you're hogging all the wine!" I complain to my best friend sitting next to my on the red-and-white checkerboard tablecloth.
"But it's my favorite! And it's my birthday! So, therefore it's my right!" she retaliates, before putting the mouth of the bottle back on hers and taking another long swig.
The sun creates a white cast over everything, and it all seems so real. I reach down and grab a handful of the lush green grass below, carefully ripping it above the root, and bring it to my nose. It smells sweet and is soft to the touch. I toss it in the air and a light breeze carries it away. This must be a dream, it's all too perfect and besides, Arizona is here. But how does it feel so real?
Arizona finally shoves the bottle of Mango Strawberry White Moscato at me, which I graciously accept, "Damn, it's like half gone!"
"I told you it's my favorite," she giggles.
I can't help but laugh at her shenanigans, I've missed her so much over the last year. "I've really missed you, you know?"
She and Maura stop rummaging through the picnic basket at stare at me in confusion, "what do you mean," she asks.
"Huh? Does she not know she died a year ago? Did that not happen in this dream?" "I.. Umm.. I don't know really." I try to play it off, but her blue eyes bore into my soul and demand the truth. "I had a nightmare that you died, and it was terrible and I never want to have to live without you ever and I love you so much and please don't ever die."
"Okay. Well, first, breathe or you're going to die. And second, that wasn't a nightmare, that was real life."
Before a single word could leave my mouth a swift wind whipped my hair into my face silencing and blinding me, when I finally manage to remove it the clear blue sky has turned almost black, and our state park picnic has been traded for a trip to a cemetery. Maura and I stand shivering beside a six foot hole, the tombstone marked none other than Arizona Jessica Robbins. I look between Maura and the stone before realizing the Zo is nowhere to be seen, "ZONA!?" I yell out into the darkness, but receive no reply when the cold wind swallows my call. I shiver and cuddle closer to Maura, who returns the gesture, and calls in the other direction.
We're beginning to get hoarse when she finally shows up at the end of the grave. "Where the hell have you been!?" I yell with all the yell I have left.
"Around," she mopes, it's the Arizona I remember from the last few weeks, depressed, disengaged, suicidal.
The wind stops and a light, eerie mist slowly rolls in, it clings to my bare legs. A faint but familiar click rings out in the silence, and my eye eyes go wide in terror. "Arizona please don't do it!"
"I have to."
"No you don't!" I cry out, my throat burns from the yelling and crying, and my brain is working overtime to try and find a way to convince her to not pull the trigger again.
"When will you learn Teddy, this is the way it has to be?"
I muster what little energy I have left and scream, "BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!!!"
She just sighs, "I guess I'll see you again then." Then lifts then gun and pulls the trigger.
***
I spring up in bed sweating and screaming. My throat and eyes are raw. I also can't decide if I'm freezing or burning up, but there are no blankets anywhere to be found on my bed. When I look at the floor however they range all over the place, from right beside it to 5 feet away. I pick up my phone to check the time, only 1:26 AM. 'She said...........'
I press a few buttons and soon the phone is ringing. A groggy voice answers, "Teddy? It's 1:30 in the morning is everything okay?"
"Um.. Not really. Can you come over? It's okay if you can't I'll call someone else."
"No, no, it's fine. I'll be there in 10."
"Okay. Thanks."
"No problem."
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Life After You
FanficIt's been a year since Arizona's death. Teddy and Maura have gone their separate ways, but have come back together to remember the life that they shared with their best friend. Second book to "The First Cut is the Deepest". It was a year ago that...
