My Neighbor, Mr. Rogers

Chapter Thirty-Three - Mini Marshmallow Fluff

Needless to say, Steve was upset when he finally made it to the elevator. He had realized from the rather basic questions being posed that his presence had only been requested to get him out of the way. His calm was further damaged to see that I was bleeding a little again- having a two hundred pound guy land on your acid mangled leg is apparently not the best thing for it.

Pretty sure that Steve's not going to be on friendly terms with Kate any time soon. I don't think he's feeling terribly fond of Fury either, for that matter. I was glad for both of their sakes that Fury had left by the time Steve caught up.

After checking that I was mostly all right, he stayed quiet until we were seated in the jet. "What did he really want?"

I shrug; my anger has burned off by now. "To make sure Hydra didn't 'compromise' me." I pause and make a face. "Didn't mean it that way."

"And how did he make that determination?" he asks tightly.

I avoid a direct answer. "He didn't exactly come to a conclusion, actually. He um, he wants you guys to 'push' me to find my limits, to see what I can and will do."

Steve stares incredulously. "You're in a wheelchair. Maybe I could understand before all of this, but what does he think you're going to do now? Roll over our toes? Bat your big brown eyes and bend us to your will?" He shakes his head. "I mean, as of right now, your biggest weapon is that you're adorable. You aren't exactly threatening."

And so I discovered firsthand evidence in support of spontaneous human combustion. Steve Rogers thinks I'm adorable.

Wait.

'Adorable' like 'I'm secretly into you' or like 'you remind me of a fuzzy kitten'? That is not progress.

It takes me a moment to realize that he's waiting for an answer to his question.

"Well, I kind of incapacitated one of his agents when he moved to detain me..."

A very blank stare from Steve.

I look at the table between us as I tell him what happened by the elevator, not leaving anything out except for the mentions of the dead Hydra agent. I glance back to see him looking- proud?

But it dissolves as he asks another question. "What are you not telling me?"

My eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"Fury might not trust you implicitly after being captured by Hydra, but he wouldn't do something like this unless he expected this reaction. And you're taking this unreasonably well, like you agree with him. What else happened in the Hydra compound?" He leans forward, gazing squarely at me as warring emotions play behind his eyes.

This is what I was hoping to avoid having to explain.

I look to the table again. "Did Nat tell you what happened to the knife that was in my leg?" I ask quietly.

"She said she was in a tight spot and had to make use of her surroundings; that otherwise, she would've been shot, maybe worse."

I nod and rub my forehead. Natasha must've felt like she owed me and left the telling of the specifics up to me. "She didn't tell you everything exactly." I lick my lips. "It was six to one. She was slowing; taking hits. I panicked and that, that same shift in my mind that happened by the elevator happened then. I could see what was going to happen before it did and I could see what I needed to do to stop it. I-I saw her get shot." I swallow. My mouth is suddenly dry. "So when I saw in real time what I had seen happening in my mind, I acted. The soldier moved to draw his gun. It wasn't Nat." My voice cracks. "I didn't even think twice about it. I-I killed him. I knew what I was doing. I threw the knife. I killed him, Steve." I cover my eyes with my hand; like that will hide the tears dripping onto my jeans. "You were right. I'm worse than a monster because I don't regret it. I had to, Steve. I had to. I didn't have a choice. Did I?"

I feel him wrapping his arms around me. I hadn't even heard him move to kneel beside my chair. I grip his shirt in my good hand and bury my face in his neck.

He doesn't tell me that it's okay or that I'm not a monster. He doesn't say anything, just lets me cry quietly.

"Of course Fury doesn't trust me," I say hoarsely. "I don't trust me. Hydra didn't change me, not really. My thoughts are still my thoughts, just faster and clearer. It's still me. How can this be who I am? What if I panic in the Tower and, and hurt someone else?"

Steve pulls back far enough to take my face in his hand and make me meet his eyes. "Would you ever hurt me?" he asks steadily.

"Never," I answer immediately. "Unless you were being an idiot."

He half-smiles and echoes back, "Your thoughts are still your thoughts. You are still you. I would trust you with my life, Anne," he says easily.

I frown, my chin still in his hand. "You would also let your best friend beat you to just this side of death, just to prove a point. Your judgment concerning your friends is questionably biased."

"Do you think I would ever needlessly put any of my friends in danger?" His tone has grown serious.

I shake my head. "No. You're only reckless with your own life."

"Don't you forget it."

"You make it difficult to do otherwise."

Steve gives a small, humored huff, releasing my chin and taking my good hand in his. "People do what they have to to survive. It isn't my place to say whether what you did was justified or not or if there was another option – I don't think you'd believe me if I said you did the right thing, anyway. But I do know you, and you are not a monster."

And I'm crying again.

Instead of pulling me back into a hug, Steve picks me up and sits us both down on the couch. He tucks me into his chest and keeps his arms around me.

"You might be bossy and sardonic, a little weird with your eccentric 'fan tendencies', overly dramatic in your self-evaluation-"

I poke his arm, interrupting his teasing.

"-but you aren't a monster. Never a monster," hefinishes softly, lightly kissing the top of my head. He murmurs something else,but it's lost in my hair and I'm too comfortable to bother asking.    

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A/N: Well, this is my version of fluff - someone being told they aren't a monster.

I'm a true romantic at heart.

I hope you liked it. Sorry it's so short, but well, me writing fluff is like me socializing - of short duration and the performance is generally a complete disappointment.

Also, that picture at the beginning of the chapter? Totally what happened in AOU.