XVIII - Embracing the Pain

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Round. Red. Deadly.

Such a little thing, but with so much power. A plastic button set in a metal ring atop an old computer console. Bright red, a screaming warning to the danger the thing posed. The easiest thing in the world to use, the hardest thing to live with if he did.

Sonic closed his eyes, not wanting to look at the innocuous button that taunted him. But behind his eyelids he could see the choice in front of him. First, he saw room after room of innocent people screaming for their lives, clawing against the walls as an agonising death struck them down. Second, he saw the flames of Station Square spreading across the world, and cold black eyes with pinpricks of red light shining from within.

Both visions turned his stomach equally. Most people threatened him directly, or threatened his friends. Worry about them as he did, he could still trust them to stay strong.

This was not a choice he could make; ask him to sacrifice himself for the greater good and he would in a heartbeat. He would take any bullet for his friends, throw himself on any grenade, but this wasn't a sacrifice; some sick bastard was putting the gun in his hand and making him pull the trigger.

When he opened his eyes, he could no longer see the button. Something black with flashes of red stood in front of it.

"Shadow?" Sonic asked, terror festering in the pit of his stomach, "What are you doing?"

Shadow didn't look around. For a moment there was a crushing silence between the pair.

"It's a numbers game," Shadow said in a monotone voice drained of life, "Hundreds now or millions later. It's only logical."

"Shadow, no!" Sonic cried, dashing over to him. Shadow stood with his finger hovering just over the button, fixing it with an impassive expression.

"It's not a choice!" Sonic said, his voice cracking as he seized Shadow's wrist, "if you kill those people, he'll just find a new way to attack Mobius."

"Let go of me, Sonic," Shadow said darkly, glaring at Sonic through the corner of his eyes. Sonic tried to pull his wrist away, but Shadow held it in place with his great strength.

"I said... LET GO!" Shadow bellowed, bringing his hand up quickly, striking Sonic across the face and causing him to fall backwards. As Sonic tumbled onto the cold metal floor, he saw Shadow resume his earlier position, poised to press the button.

Sonic's heart burned with anger. Gazing upon the black hedgehog he felt an agonising blend of love and hate swirling through him.

"I can't believe I was stupid enough to think I ever loved you, Shadow," he spat with barely restrained venom, "You're a monster. You don't feel anything, even as you take another's life. I can't love someone like that, and if you press that button, I will hate you for as long as I live!"

Shadow froze, and his expression changed from blank indifference to childlike sorrow. His hand, so close to the deadly switch, began to tremble. Pulling it away Shadow looked at his quivering hand, then to Sonic, his expression completely broken.

"I... I'm doing this for you, Sonic!" he said, his voice breaking and quavering in fright, "I'm sparing you the pain of having to make this choice. Just let me save you!"

With those words a name came rushing back to him. Maria. That's what Shadow had called him back in the woods. Gears whirred in Sonic's mind, delivering the fragments of information to him, playing back Shadow's voice in his ears.

You'll never be alone again.

I've failed.

I can't save you.

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