A Rock Star's Guide To Getting The Promdi (A Girl's Guidebook #1.5)

Tip No. 8 - Try To Control Your Jealousy

This had been the shittiest day ever and it's all because of her.

Habang nasa tour ang HNZ sa iba't-ibang bansa, mukha ni Yumi ang laging laman ng isip ko at pangalan niya ang laging lumalabas sa bibig ko. Bawat kanta na tinugtog namin, I played them for her. Bawat picture-perfect view na nakita ko, I wished she was there to appreciate it with me.

I missed her and I thought that she, somehow, missed me too. I was so damn excited to see her again kaso, nang nagkita na kami ulit, nalaman ko na wala pala kami sa iisang page at hindi lang pala ako ang lalakeng ine-entertain niya.

I saw her talking with Jake Sanchez, the guy from our Philosophy class na may gusto rin sa kanya, nang sinundo namin ni Ben silang tatlo nina Shay at Kat kanina sa school. She was wearing a smile habang kaharap si Jake pero, nang nagkatinginan na kami, napalitan ng isang irritable expression ang mukha niya. Iniwas niya agad ang mga mata sa akin at hindi na niya ako tiningnan ulit pagkatapos noon.

What's worse, kinausap niya ang iba naming mga kagrupo, pati na si Jake at mga kasama niya, habang ginagawa namin ang project sa Cavite pero she didn't talk to me, not even once. I could tell that she was determined to stay away from me kaya, kahit na-tempt ako na hatakin siya palayo sa ibang mga lalake na umaaligid sa kanya, hinayaan ko na lang siya sa gusto niya.

I wasn't really expecting a 'welcome home' kiss or a hug from her, although iyon ang laman ng fantasies ko nitong nakaraang dalawang linggo, pero sana naman pinaramdam niya na totoo at hindi ko in-imagine lang ang happiness, excitement at concern na narinig ko sa boses niya tuwing kausap niya ako.

Akala ko talaga, may nagsisimula na sa pagitan naming dalawa. Hell, mali pala ako.

I didn't know what her problem was but I was too mad at her to care. The disappointment and the anger were just too fucking much and they're starting to eat me up inside.

I felt betrayed; I thought she was different. I thought she was someone I could trust and that it was good to share a small piece of me with her. Well, that was an oversight on my part dahil hindi pala siya naiiba. Katulad din pala siya ni Zoey.

Mahigit thirty minutes na kaming naghihintay ni Ben ngayon dito sa Intramuros para kumuha pa ng pictures na kailangan namin sa project pero wala pa rin silang tatlo. Kahit ayoko nang mag-alala pa para sa kanya, hindi ko naman mapigilan ang sarili ko. It was like she programmed me to think only of her and I just couldn't snap out of it.

Honestly, I wasn't just worried about her safety. Kinakabahan din ako na baka kasama pa rin niya si Jake at kung ano-ano na ang ginagawa nila.

I knew I was torturing myself pero hindi ko maiwasan ang pag-iisip nang ganito dahil sa nakita ko kanina. My head was all messed up and this, everything, was all her fault.

She was leading me on while she's busy flirting with someone else. Ang lakas talaga ng loob niya. 'Tang ina, sino ba siya sa akala niya?

"Dude, will you stop? You're making me dizzy," ang reklamo ni Ben nang dumaan na ulit ako sa kung saan siya nakaupo for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Then, don't fucking look," pagalit kong sagot.

"Okay, that's it. I've had it with you." Tumayo siya sa harap ko, effectively blocking my path, at tiningnan niya ako nang may inis sa mga mata. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Bullshit," ang sabi niya. "You've been acting like a little bitch since we got back from Bangkok. Tell me what's going on, man."

I was prepared to lash out on him, para malabas ang lahat ng inipon ko na sama ng loob sa araw na ito, pero pinaalala ko sa sarili ko na walang kasalanan ang kaibigan ko sa mga nangyayari. Huminga na muna ako nang malalim para ma-control ang galit ko bago ko siya hinarap.