Won't you stay alive? (Joshler fanfiction)

Truce

(Tyler's POV)

I don't know why I expected him to actually like me, they're right, they're all right. I'm unlovable I'm a mess, a failure. I always have been and I always will be.

I found myself back to where I started, getting the shit beaten out me, being late to every class, not eating, not really feeling anything, at all. Josh made me feel worth something, Josh made me feel like a human, not a blob. the nights he spent with me while I cried, the food he pretty much force fed me, the times he'd call because I didn't reply to any texts and he got worried. he carried it off and convinced me he ever gave a damn.

for now I cry alone, no one to call me, no one to worry about me. hell, I could die tomorrow, who would care? I've been picked up a lot of very bad habits, smoking being one of them, something I promised I would never do, i'm just angry and 3 quarters of the way to a full 2007 Brittany spears breakdown. lack of sleep and lack of fucks to give, you know? yeah, and swearing a lo of swearing.

but here I sit, on my bathroom floor, holding an electric razor (don't panic) about to shave my head, while finishing off a song 'car radio' it's all my thoughts rolled into one, it's a new direction for me to go in, I usually only go in 'one direction' of more slower kind of tempo.