The girl in the back of the classroom

The Worst Day Of My Life

The pain I felt could compare to nothing I had ever felt before.
She looked so broken, so fragile and small, it was as if a stranger was laying before me, she didn't look like the mum I knew and loved. Her eyes were swollen, a dark rim of purple- grey hugging her skin, hiding those sparkly eyes she has now lost in what seems to be a black hole.

"Mum? That can't be her no no no they must have gotten it wrong that's not her m-my mum is always smiling -and they must have the wrong person she can't be her! Max please don't let it be her please this can't be hapening-"
tears were pouring out my eyes, my head throbbing from this heavy weight on my brain.
i screamed and i screamed for her, pleading for her to wake up, as i rushed by her side grabbing her pale, lifeless hand
"MUM please please PLEASE wake up!"
"Rita, love-"
"PLEASE i cant lose you! mum please...i need you so much please i cant see you like this any longer-"
"Rita, please I'm sorry but try calm down-"
"ITS ALL MY FAULT MAX! I-it's all my fa-fault- mum I'm so sorry, please forgive me-"
"Rita! its not your fault, please for me try think for a second-"
"THINK! Max how the hell can I think when my- my own mother, is laying there unconscious when I could have prevented that it's my fault I should be laying there! what if she- she leaves me here?! She gives up because I wasn't good enough! Why Max why it's ALL my fault..."

I choked on my sobs, each time I shouted I punched Max in the chest weakly but eventually he grabbed hold of my fists and wrapped my smalls arms around his waist, enveloping me in a comforting hug.
Yet again I found myself sobbing in Max's arms, but this time, I felt safe... more safer than I had ever felt in my life.

-------------------------------------------------------

"beep...beep...beep..."

That was all I could hear... a faint stir of the only evidence that showed me my mum was at least breathing.
My eyes was so tired, tired with emotional, mental and physical pain. I just need her to wake up, without her I'm lost... Completely and utterly abandoned in a whole new place with only one person who I just met yesterday. What was I going to do if my mum...? I can't even say it. If she leaves me, she would be leaving me alone in the world and I will have to do everything on my own. I can't bear the thought. There would be no hug first thing in the morning and when I'm going to bed.... No one to listen to me when things go wrong for me.... No one to run away with when Shaun finds us...
I hadn't realised I was crying until I felt a tear truckling down my cheeks.

"I absolutely hate queues, people are so rude! I only wanted to get me and you a coff-"
Max trailed off speaking as he walked in the hospital room when he noticed I was crying, his eyebrows meeting as a sympathetic yet concerned look painted his face.
"Oh, bub please don't cry."
Max practically ran over, placing the coffees on the side and crashing his toned chest into mine while his arms held me tighter than my demons ever will.
"It hurts me so much, Max. I look at her and another piece of my heart breaks... She was always the strong one out of us two. Without her I'm weak, she's the reason why I'm here and I can't bear it!! I can't bear looking at her so weak!! She should be at home being normal but me and my mum.... We're different. A special kind of different... But that's gone now she is laying here in this stupid room." Once again, a tear trickled it's way down my skin, leaving a salty trail of sadness behind it.

My mum knows so much about me, she even accepted me after I told her I was a - but I had no idea she was too. She wasn't just a mum, she is my bestfriend. Why am I thinking in past tense?! She's still here... Almost. I just don't know how to go on without her... Nothing could fill this empty whole in my heart.

Hopefully tomorrow can bring some good for once.... Hopefully.