Paralyzer || Barry Allen (The Flash) Fanfiction

Chapter 54: Confrontations

 It had been about two days since Caitlin and I had discussed the process for possibly saving my life. To my not-so-happy surprise, there were two parts to this problem that needed to be dealt with. First, we had to find some material that would be a suitable enough replacement for the depleted promethium that made up part of my spine currently, and the replacement had to be non-toxic. As if that task alone wasn't daunting enough, we also had to figure out a way that would sever my ties to the dark half of my powers while attempting to leave the light half alone.

Barry and Caitlin had come up with the theory that my time in the land of the dead before my dip in the Lazarus pool had left my fate intertwined with both living and dying. And the were serious when they claimed that Death would stop at nothing to get back one of its own as long as I still had my ties to its world. Yeah, I was pretty damn shocked at not only the fact that I was practically on Death's hit list, but also that Death was an actual being. Maybe not human, but he existed strangely enough.

I should have known by now that things could always get weirder in my life.

Caitlin had already begun devising a type of serum that might be capable of performing me such a feat, but she still was hesitant to let me try it yet. This new serum was simply an altered form of the power suppressing serum Cait had developed for Copycat — when she was our prisoner rather than our ally, of course — Zoom, and the Phantom. That being said, it was a major reason why Caitlin was so nervous to give me the dose.

"I'll learn to deal with it, Cait," I insisted as I leaned against the desk with my arms crossed stubbornly over my chest. "If it ends up getting rid of my light powers too, then... Well, I'm not going to say that it won't crush me because that would be a lie, but I'd get over it eventually. It's better than dying, right?"

"But do you want to live in a world where you don't have your powers anymore?" Caitlin asked honestly, a sympathetic glint in her eyes.

While I'd already told her my feelings on the matter, I really decided to think this over now. My powers had become part of my personal identity. To me, they made me who I was now. They made me the Haven that I'd become over the past year or so. Would I really be able to forfeit all of that and be fine with my life?

Then I thought about the six months in my life when I'd given up crime fighting, when I'd decided to try and live the life of a normal human for a change. And, to be honest, I had managed just fine. Sure, I'd missed the adrenaline that coursed through me as I ran faster than the human eye could see or even just feeling the hum of the light pumping through my body when I got excited. But I had managed. I'd gotten through six full months without even using a single ounce of my talents to help me live my life.

I looked up from the floor and stared directly at Caitlin, locking her gaze with mine so she would know I was being completely sincere. "It might be hard, but I'd rather live and be with the people I love than die and leave everything behind. I've already been too the other side once in the past year. I'm not looking to do it again so soon."

Understanding filled her features, and Caitlin nodded her head slowly. "And you're absolutely sure about this?" Cait asked one last time, needing the confirmation before injecting me with the thing that would decide my ultimate fate.

"Would you just stab me with that needle already?" I teased lightly, but I could feel my heart beating twice as fast as my nerves kicked in.

While it wasn't ideal to play around with serums we weren't sure would even work, my situation wasn't exactly ideal either. We didn't have time to waste by testing it, and even then we'd come to the problem of who to test it on. It's not like there were any metahumans lining up to be lab rats, let alone metahumans with the same abilities as me.