Chapter 4, Part 1

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I couldn't see the guard's face from this angle; the sun was right behind him, so I could only see the pointy silhouette of his bronze helmet against the sun. But it was pretty obvious that he was glaring at us. And the loaded crossbow resting on the battlement crenelations wasn't a particularly friendly greeting either.

"What's yer business 'ere in Bermatora?" he barked down to us. He barely pronounced the middle A, making it sound like Bermtora

We'd discussed this during the trip and had agreed that Skip would do the talking, given her abilities. And we wanted to reveal as little about our interests as possible. Skip stepped forward and gave her cheesiest grin. "Hello, good sir! Just some traveling merchants here to do business in your fine city!" She used the same sing-song tone that she'd used to convince those Paladins to leave, and I could already picture the two of us in a market stall hawking some wares, though I had no idea what we'd be selling.

The guard didn't answer immediately. I craned my neck trying to see his face better; he was almost fifty feet up on the city's imposing walls, made entirely of pure white limestone.

"Where's your goods?" he asked suspiciously. "What're you 'ere to sell?"

Skip frowned. Why was he asking questions?

"We're here to buy, actually!" she answered. "We are in the market for..." she looked around for something that we could plausibly be here to purchase. "Fish!" she finally answered as her eyes landed on the boats bobbing in the nearby bay. "Lots and lots of fish." Using her Voice, my mind was again filled with the image of us trundling down the road with an old donkey and a creaky wooden cart loaded with silvery fish. I could practically smell it, too, and it wasn't pleasant. Why did everything on this trip have to smell bad?  "We've been on the road for weeks now," she continued, "and your walls are a happy sight! Maybe you could direct us to a good inn?"

Again, the guard was silent for a while. "How're you gettin' the fish 'ome, then? You've got no wagon." He gestured down to us like we may have missed that little fact. "It'll spoil, you know." If only we'd brought Mog with us, who could clearly carry a whole shipload of fish. But bringing Mog would present a whole new set of problems: primarily, the entire town assuming he would devour them, and therefore doing whatever they can to kill him. He was waiting in the woods for us to return after we made contact with Lamneras.

Skip ground her teeth together and shot daggers at the guard. Hopefully he was nearsighted and wouldn't recognize the death stare. She clearly wasn't used to people talking back; she expected the gates to just swing open. "We are going to buy one too!" she barked. 

He continued to stare down at us with no answer. Maybe he just enjoyed exercising his power and making people wait. "You got gold, then?" he said finally.

"Why isn't it working?" I whispered in her ear.

"I. Don't. Know." she hissed back to me. Her fists were clenched together so tight that her knuckles turned white.

"Of course we have gold! We're merchants! Now do you want our business or not?" She had given up on using the Voice and was just screaming at him now.

He paused again, this time for so long that it was like he'd forgotten about us. "No," he finally said. "Lord Berman said to be on watch for suspicious folk, and you folk are suspicious. Go away." He stepped away from the battlements and disappeared. 

"You piece of..." Before the words even escaped her lips, she was already reaching for her bow and an arrow from her quiver. 

I leapt forward and managed to wrestle them out of her hands before she did anything truly stupid. "Settle down, Skip. Just breath." I stepped forward and cupped my hands around my mouth. "Err, sir??" 

The guard appeared again, as did his crossbow. "I said go away!" He shook the weapon at us.

"No, wait!" I held up my hands to show that I was no threat. "I have a friend in Bermatora who can vouch for me! I'm sure if just you or one of your fellow guards just went and spoke with him, this could all be worked out!"

"Oh?" This time, the guard actually answered quickly. "Wot's 'is name?" 

"Come on!" Skip whispered under her breath, to no one in particular. "We had to get the nosiest gatekeeper in the entire damn country?"

I ignored her. "His name is Lamneras. Lord Berman's Potions Master."

"Amners?" The guard repeated. "Never heard of him."

"LAMNERAS!" I shouted back, as loud as I could. I'm not a particularly loud person to begin with.

"Labnis?" Was he just messing with me now?

"LAM-NER-AS," I said slowly, carefully enunciating each syllable. 

"Never 'eard of him neither," the guard grunted. "Now go away."

"Could you maybe come down here?" I gestured to the giant wooden gate in front of us. "And we can speak face to face?"

More silence. He was certainly doing it just to piss us off. "No," he finally replied. "Gate doesn't open for strange folk." 

Next to me, Skip strode forward and took in a deep breath to begin shouting . Thankfully I managed to hush her before she could scream whatever curses she was getting ready to hurl at him. Quite the temper on that girl.  "Is there someone else I could speak to?" I maintained a calm and pleasant tone in the face of that crossbow. "Another guard maybe?"

"If I ain't lettin' you through, no other guard will neither!" The man answered confidently. 

"Well could you at least send someone up to the Palace to see if maybe they can find my friend Lamneras?" I could see him scratching his chin. Was he considering it? Surely Lamneras would be able to help us! He'd been in Lord Berman's employ for years now!

"No!" the guard finally answered. "Now leave!"

"You son of a bitch!" Skip shouted, taking a step forward shaking her fist up at him. "You let us in, or I'll persona..."

She was silenced as the thick crossbow bolt buried itself into the dirt right where her feet would have been in a few seconds. "Next one's in your chest!" the guard shouted, already winding it back up for a second shot. 

"OK!" I called out as loud as I could, dragging Skip back by the shoulders. "Ok, no need to get violent! We're leaving!" Skip was still resisting even as I did my best to pull her away.  "We'll find another way," I whispered to her. That didn't help much; she just kept muttering insults and threats under her breath. Finally she came to her senses and stopped struggling. We walked back towards the forest as the guard kept his eyes (and crossbow) on us.

"I swear to all the gods," she growled once we reached the tree line. "I will not leave this city without sending another horde of spiders after that guy."

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