Teach Me How To Fly (A Koutaro Bokuto Story)

Aching Heart

Wizzy: I just want to say thank you for all your wonderful comments on this story! I don't think I've ever felt this loved in my entire life! Also, if you guys are enjoying this story, you might want to check out some of my others. I'd certainly appreciate some sort of feedback on how those are going, so if you would give 'em a try, that'd be awesome. Anyway, here's yet another chapter. (Did you know that's 4 of these that I've done in just 3 days? That is a personal record right there.)

Bokuto didn't sleep very well that night. He kept tossing and turning, his body tired but his mind staying wide awake. Even worse, there was nothing I could do besides stay at his side. I'd be little more than something to hug tightly until the pain faded.

The next day he couldn't focus in school thanks to the lack of sleep. He couldn't even fall asleep in class because there was too much on his mind. And when he came to sit with me during lunchtime, he didn't even try to eat his lunch, resulting in me having to force him to. Then when practice came around, things weren't any better.

The energetic ace of Fukurodani was in no condition to do anything at all. He hadn't even been able to change for practice. So the others carried on without their captain, leaving him sitting on the bench and staring down at his hands.

While everyone else was busy with practice, I stayed at Bokuto's side. There was little I could do but watch over him as the managers had asked me. After a little while, he pulling some paper out of his pocket. When I saw it, my heart began aching even more.

Last night we'd found an article in the newspaper about a girl who had gone missing. It didn't say what school she went to, saying only that she was a second year in high school. Unless you knew her name or recognized the photograph, you wouldn't have had any idea who she was.

After I'd finally gotten used to my owl body, it was easy to forget that I was once human. Even now, it was hard to think that the girl in the article was me.

As soon as Bokuto had seen my picture and read what had been said, he'd immediately called Akaashi. The setter had then admitted that he'd known about it long before the article.

Being in the same class and a friend of mine, he'd noticed my absence immediately. The first few days he didn't think much of it, simply assuming that I was just sick. But after a week had passed since the last time he'd heard from me, he'd grown concerned and spoke to my parents.

My parents and I didn't usually see much of each other normally. I left for school before they even woke up in the morning and was almost always in bed asleep when they came home late at night. So during that first week, they hadn't noticed that I was gone. But after Akaashi had mentioned my absence from school, they began realizing that the chores that were usually left to me remained undone and that something was clearly wrong.

They'd asked him to keep quiet about it until they were sure that I was actually missing. Then a couple of days later, it finally started to be investigated. However, all attempts at searching for an answer turned up nothing. As far as they could tell, I'd vanished without even the tiniest hints as to why or where.

None of the other members of the team had really known me other than what Bokuto had told them of me. So when I disappeared, none of them could have noticed. Maybe a couple of seconds might have noticed my absence, but they never thought to question it. For all they knew, I was just out sick or I transferred without telling anyone.

Had it not been for Kuroo though, Bokuto might not have found out. Akaashi had purposely not told him so that this situation could be avoided. As bad as it might have sounded, Akaashi had the right idea. I'd rather Bokuto have never known than to have him hurting the way he was now.

The worst part of it was, it was entirely my fault. If it weren't for me then he wouldn't be breaking down right now. He wouldn't have his heart breaking and I wouldn't have to watch him suffer.

I wanted so desperately to tell him that he didn't need to be hurting. I'm right here! Please don't be sad anymore! But no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't. And even if I could tell him that, there was a chance that I might never be human again. It was enough that if owls could cry, I definitely would be.

In the end, that day was as rough and painful for me as it was for Bokuto. And the next day probably wasn't going to be much better.

Bokuto was still sulking by the time the next day's practice came around. Nothing had done anything to improve his mood, not even having his favorite food for dinner. In fact, he'd barely even touched his food that night.

At least he'd managed to change his clothes for practice today. Though he still sat on the bench, staring down at the floor. It was painful to watch, so I knew I had to do something... anything to get his mind off of this.

From my spot on the bench next to the depressed ace, I spotted a stray volleyball. In my head, a plan began forming. I jumped down and hurried over to the ball's location and began to roll it back. Stopping just a little ways away from Bokuto, I used my foot to hit it towards him.

The ball hit his foot and stopped there. Slowly he looked over to me and his eyes locked with mine. It made me wonder if he could see the pain I was feeling for him. He looked up, his eyes falling on his teammates who were watching him, waiting to see if he would join them.

Bokuto looked down at me one last time before a tiny smile started tugging at the corners of his mouth. He scooped me up and wrapped me into a very tight hug before kissing the top of my head. "Thanks, Kisa," he whispered, before setting me on the bench and running off to join his teammates.

If owls could blush, I'd be redder than Nekoma's uniforms right now. Why did he have to do that? Just when I was finally used to being around him, he has to go and do something like that to make me all flustered.

Even if there were no romantic intentions behind the action, it was from the guy I'd fallen for the moment I'd met him. And when you're an owl who probably might never be human again, that's incredibly confusing... and a bit painful.

Bokuto you idiot! Why did you have to do that? I'm supposed to want you to get over me, not fall for you more. Why do I have to be in love with you?