Under the Mask

Memories

Poe walked back to his room in a daze, the sight of Leia and Han hugging underneath the light burned into his eyes and no matter how hard he blinked he could not get rid of it. He opened up his room door and stepped in, feeling it swish closed behind him. But he didn't go further inside, or turn on the lights. He stood there frozen in the door, trying to comprehend what just happened. Flashes of the night streamed by in his minds eye. How could he be so stupid to think Kylo was ready to go outside? He had let his discomfort get the better of him. They should have stayed locked up in the room. Finally, Poe came to himself, shook his head and turned on the lights.

"Hell of a night." He said out loud to himself.

He walked over to his small sink, turned the facet on and splashed some cold water in his face

Big brown eyes, staring at him from the top of the stairs and Leia's voice saying "Come on down Ben, I'd like you to meet someone". Poe had his comic book in his hand, and was curious about this shy boy on the stairs. The Solos had just moved in next door to them, and Poe had seen Ben running around the front yard but was too shy to go over. It took a plate of cookies and a push from his own mother just to get him to go over. Leia had answered the door, and welcomed him inside with a smile. Poe took a step up and the stairs and the brown eyes shifted backwards. Poe took another, and another until he was halfway up and then he sat down and opened his book. He could feel Leia smiling at him. A few minutes later the brown eyes were two steps above him, Poe looked up and saw a young child looking down at him, his jet black hair covering his face, his small hands clutching his ankles as he stared.

"Is that superman?" he asked

Poe smiled, but shook his head, "Aquaman."

"What does Aquaman do?"

"He fights crime with his special powers."

"Can I see?"

"Sure."

Poe stopped what he was doing and stared at himself in the mirror. The memory of their first meeting still etched in his mind's eye. He had been nine, and Kylo-Ben-had been seven when they first met. Ben had been shy at first, but Poe had been determined to play with his new friend. Poe had forgotten their first meeting until now. Had they really been that little? After that first play date, they had become inseparable. Poe had become close with the Solos during those years and he had appreciated it. Things weren't so great for him at home then, he remembered. His parents fought, they would get drunk and throw things. Many times he would find himself curled up in the Solo's tree house, having escaped yet another argument. Ben would always find him there, baring hot chocolate and cookies prepared by Leia. They were like his second family, the Solos.

Poe sighed again and watched his breath fog up the mirror. How could he have forgotten those times so quickly? He shook his head, and moved from the sink to the shower. As he stripped off his clothes, he watched as more memories floated in his mind's eye.

Ben running to the edge of the dock with a pink flamingo floatie wrapped around his waist and huge rubber flippers. "Come on, Poe, hurry!" he shouted as he waited anxiously for Poe to hobble over in his own floatie and flippers.

"Ready?"

"Only if we jump together"

Ben held his hand and Poe took it. They jumped together and Poe didn't even mind the cold water because he was with Ben, his best friend.

The hot water brought Poe back to the present. The little boy he saw in his memory was long gone, hidden under layers of darkness and confusion. He longed to see that boy again, longed to play out in the sun with him. He let the hot water run over his hair and face. As much as he liked the good times, he could remember the bad times too, when the force had awoken in Ben and then started to take over.