Five Star Hotel

25. Poor Sean

Jade

I woke up in between Skyla and Jennifer. The bed was really big. I knew what I had to do and the thought of it made me nauseous. Skyla's alarm went off waking her up, but Jennifer was still sound asleep. That girl could sleep through anything.

"I'm gonna tell him." I said as she did her makeup for work. "Sean. I really don't know what to tell Luke yet."

"One step at a time." She replied.

It was obvious that Skyla was going through something. I knew it had to do with Dante, and I felt bad that on top of those problems my stupidity got dumped on her lap too.

She was trying to be supportive despite the fact that I was the worst person ever. I didn't deserve anyone's sympathy. If I got what I deserved, Luke would hate me, Skyla would leave me to figure things out on my own, and Sean would tell me that he had no interest in being a dad. Of course, I was hoping none of that would happen, but I couldn't be upset if it did.

I was pretty sure that Luke was going to make me feel like sh!t, and I wouldn't blame him. I deserved it. He deserved someone better than me.

He called me twice yesterday but I didn't answer. This wasn't something you tell someone over the phone, and I wasn't going to lie.

There was a part of me that thought this was good. This would tie me down, it taught me a damn good lesson.

Abortion entered my mind. It was only for a second. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to. Of course, I was scared. I was terrified but that seemed wrong. I believed that everything happened for a reason. There must've been a reason behind this. All night I repeated that mantra in my head. There has to be a reason. There's a good reason.

I tried to tell Skyla, who seemed to be in her own little world the same thing. "You'll be okay. If it's meant to be he'll come to you."

"I don't want to talk about him." She replied, finishing her lipstick. "It's been two weeks, I'm more annoyed than I am sad."

"Still, you'll be okay."

"You'll be okay too. Call me if you need anything."

I nodded, not intending to call her unless I fell into a sink hole. She didn't need to be burdened with my mistakes.

I sat on the bed beside Jennifer, knowing for a fact that she wouldn't wake up for another few hours. Sean was probably still asleep too, so I decided to wait and the anxiety ate me alive. I couldn't stay still and I especially couldn't stop eating.

I raided the refrigerator which didn't have much in it. "I'm going to get fat." I mumbled to myself as I took another spoonful of ice cream. Skyla lived off of ice cream. By then I had already gone through almost half the gallon. On the bright side I could use this kid as an excuse to get fat and eat whatever the f@ck I wanted without any judgement. The thought brought a smile to my face.

I took the stairs down to Sean's room which was on the same floor as Dante's. Please, I begged whatever god would listen to me. I needed Sean's support, I needed him to be a dad for this kid, a real Dad. If there was one thing I wanted to do right, it was to give the baby a normal family, a mom and a dad who loved him or her, because I never had that and I knew how much it hurt.

So I rehearsed exactly what I was going to say to him, I thought I had it down packed but the second he appeared in the doorway, hair a mess, boxers hanging low, my mind went blank.

He was someone who, if given the chance, I could fall head over heels over. I loved his sense of humor, I loved his laugh, I loved his rich boy attitude, and soon enough I would love his baby.