Love You Forever & Always

Chapter 2

Curled up at her window-side sofa with Jude Deveraux's Secrets, her favorite book and a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, she was determined to enjoy her surprise holiday at the kindergarten due to the heavy rain, but she could not concentrate on what she is reading her eyes kept traveling to the mailbox. Earlier the day when she settled herself near the window she saw the postman at the letterbox leaving her daily mail, and she is so sure that she saw a pink envelope peeking through the bundle. It's been two weeks since the last mail, she couldn't help but wonder why he missed a week.

Now it's been more than six months since the letter parade started, even though they were not intended for her those letters have become a part of her life by now. Every week she is looking forward to receiving a letter from Mr.Howard to read about the kittens and foals, pranks of little Noah, to read about the creek and the mountain trail, about his memories their golden moments. She felt like she is being a part of a different world other than her broken one.

She wanted to write back to this person who she now addresses as Mr.Howard and she knew once she did write back to them then his letters will stop, the selfish part in her doesn't want them to stop. She likes being a part of their life, sharing his memories and feelings, it made her feel like she is not a failure that she still have hope to find love and life again. Also, she is afraid that this is a prank from that one person from her past if so she doesn't want him to have the satisfaction that he could make a fool out of her even now, to give him a feeling that she is an open game even now.

After reading those letters her emotions were everywhere, how can a person love someone like this and keep on loving someone even though she broke his heart and left him, it felt so unrealistic to her. Is this some other prank on his part? She knows he likes to see her in pain, likes hurting her, that's why she moved far away to the middle of nowhere like this, cut all the ties with her past, her friends and people who considered her family.

When she did not get any mail from him last week she was beyond disappointed, she thought he might have realized his mistake or his girlfriend might have come back home, from what he is writing they do have a very strong bond and they rarely fight. She will be more than happy if they have reunited if the words in the letters are true the guy is suffering a lot and he loves her like crazy.

The cuckoo sang from the clock on the mantel signalling it is 3 O'clock now, cursing herself for zoning out again she got up from her comfortable position, leaving the book on the tea table she walked to the kitchen with the empty hot chocolate cup in hand thinking what she will fix up for a late lunch. One free day has affected her whole routine, she slept in in the morning having a brunch at 10 and gonna have a late lunch at 3, she has no idea when she is gonna sleep tonight.

Once after lunch and cleaning up she stepped outside since the rain is all over now, she has to take the garbage out, well that was the reason she keeps telling herself for visiting the mailbox on her way back. As soon as she had the bunch of mails in her arms her eyes caught the familiar soft pink envelop and she couldn't stop her lips from curving upwards, her heart is beating fast,she felt a teenager reading a love letter given to her, she speed walked towards the door eager to be inside and read the letter. Getting inside she took her time to leave the rest of the mail on the table and taking the pink envelope in her arms walked towards the window side seat and making herself comfortable she took a deep breath and opened the letter. But instead of the curvy handwriting of Mr.Howard, her eyes are met with the printed words from a computer.
                                                          *****************
Dear Amy,

I missed you, I know you do too.

Sorry for the printed letter, I am not a position to hold pen and paper so I need to get help to type and print this letter. They did not let me write to you last week, this week I was so persistent that at last Jai agreed to help me to write and post this. I know you love my handwritten letters but my hands are shaking so hard now that I can barely hold them in place, doctors blame it on my alcohol consumption but they don't know that it is the only cure that can save me from this deep gutter of pain.

Everyone calls me a fool behind my back for writing letters to my dead wife, but they don't know this my only way to cope with the hard truth, my way to compensate for waking up to empty side of the bed, for the lack of morning kisses and goodnight kisses, for missing the stealing smiles and winks. The day I lost you, a part of me died with you, the other part is barely hanging on to the final string which is ready to snap at any minute now.

I don't have any regret for this life, I lived I loved and I enjoyed. I was able to meet the most beautiful and kind women in the world and spend a lifetime with her. I know you are watching over me my angel, but please don't fight so hard for me dear, am ready to leave this world and cross the bridge to join you in the eternity.

I hope that by the time you read this letter we will be together, then we can read them together or I can read it to you like I used to read to you during the night.

Love you forever & always
J.

P.S : For the one who is reading this letter, Thank you so much for not returning these letters. God Bless You.

                                                          *****************
Amelia sat frozen in place trying hard to process the words she read, she read the letter once more to make sure that she read it right the first time. She stared at the letter for a long time, she want to scream, cry and crumble down on tho the floor, she cannot believe she is holding a suicide note in her arms.

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Hi friends,

Thank you so much for reading 'Love You Forever & Always'.

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love,

Niranjana