Love, Ariel

Letter #5

A letter to your dreams

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Dear Smoke and Ash,

I was debating on whether I should call you that or not and I finally decided to go with it because I figured that it wouldn't hurt to state the truth. After all, Smoke and Ash is what you have now become.

Crumbling and disappearing before my very eyes.

Why are you so unachievable? So unattainable?

All I need and want is a happy life, one where I am smiling and one where someone else - it doesn't matter who - is always smiling because of me.

For some, it is so easy to get you. But for me, all you have done is go up in - you guessed it - Smoke and Ash.

I don't get it. Why don't you ever come true? Why can't I reach you? Why must I... ?

I'm sorry. It's so difficult and painful to write about you. I had to write and rewrite this letter a hundred times - fact, not exaggeration - before I finally promised myself that this would be the last attempt before I either never wrote this letter or wrote whatever the hell came to my mind no matter how funnily incomprehensible or heartbreakingly devastating it turned out to be.

And...I'm starting to realize just how devastating it is.

I just can't write about you. I'm sorry. 

Love, Ariel