Chapter 34

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Wake up, get dressed for school, speak to my distant boyfriend, go to school, come home, get a kiss from my distant boyfriend, he goes to work all day, spend the rest of my day watching Supernatural and Vampire diaries alone, eat, bathe and then go to sleep.

Wake up and repeat..

That's how it's been for the last month and a half.. And frankly, I'm get fucking sick of it.

Dean came down the stairs while putting his jacket on.

I crossed my arms and just stared at him. "Going to the shop, again?"

He glanced at me for a second. "Yea"

"Do you have to?" I asked. "Your there like.. everyday. Can't you spend one day at home?"

"Not today Mia" he walked away from me.

I grabbed his arm turning him to face me. "That's what you say everyday Dean! Not today! Not today!.. If not today, then when!?"

"I don't know!!" He yelled in my face. "I don't know!" He ran a hand over his face and grabbed my waist pulling into him. "Please, just.. Can we not do this right now?"

He looked into my eyes and at that moment I saw it.. I saw the pain.. For the first time in weeks he let his gaurd down, he let me see what he was feeling.. Even if it he didnt mean too.. He did and I saw it, the pain and anger.

I nodded my head and he leaned his forehead against mine for a moment and then kissed it. Then he left.. Again.

I've missed those lips. It feels like its been forever since he's kissed me..

Lately Dean has been acting different. It's like he doesn't want to be around me.. I guess it's not just me, its everyone. He's never home. He's always at the shop or downstairs in the basement working out. He's just been distant. He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh, he doesn't hang out with us anymore, he doesn't even give me that smirk that almost never left his face, he doesn't do anything!

I guess that stupid ass shop has become more important than his family..

I'm losing him.. And I don't know how and I don't know why.

Is this his way of pushing me away? Because he doesn't want to be with me anymore? Maybe I'm just in the way... Or maybe it's deeper than me. What's going on with him? Why is hr changing?

I stood there at the door sobbing to myself. I then felt a hand rubbing my back and saw that it was Jonah.

"Don't cry Mia" he softly said.

"Yea it'll be okay" Noah said.

"Yea you know how Dean can be" Jake said.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to be a dick" Chris told me.

Jonah led me to the couch to sit down and continued to rub my back soothingly.

"Its okay" he soothed.

I sobbed. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong"

Damon came over to sit next to me. "Your not doing anything wrong Mia"

I shook my head. "I don't know what to do. I'm losing him!"

"Listen to me Mia. Dean loves you! Probably more than life itself! He's just not being himself right now" Damon told me.

It was getting hot and with all the crying I was doing, I started to feel nauseous. All of a sudden, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom and spilled my guts out.

Ugh! I hate throwing up. Thankfully Damon was there to hold my hair..

When I was done I collapsed and Damon wrapped his arms around me.

"I don't know what to do.." I silently sobbed.

He rubbed my arm. "Just keep doing what your doing. All you can do is be there for him. I know my brother. All of this will pass"

<++-------------------------------------++>

I woke up a few hours later feeling drained. I've been feeling like that a lot lately.. I've Just been wanting to sleep all of the time.

Jess volunteers at an after school program for elementary and middle school kids, so she's not home some days either. The guys are always here though.. And yes they are loads of fun but, they're boys and they can be really gross.. Extremely gross actually.

I forced myself out of bed because I was hungry. My feet hit the cold floor and I immediately began to look for my slippers.

"Where are they?" I mumbled to myself searching around the bed.

I decided to get down on all fours and look under the bed for them.

"They gotta be under here somewhere.."

I found my slippers, but I also found box.. Of course me being me, my curiosity got the best of me.. So I opened the box.

I couldn't believe my eyes..

I gasped and picked it up.

A gun.

I'm holding a gun..


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