If Nothing...

Skye

"You gonna eat or you just gonna keep poking at it like it's hiding something inside."Lincoln smiles a little.

I blink a few times shaking my head."I'm sorry."I smile a little."I'm not being much fun am I?"

"No,not really."

I laugh a little."I just have a lot on my mind right now."

"Hey I know you're taking this Natasha thing really hard. Everyone is. I mean I didn't know her that well."He scratches behind his ear."I know she was something special from what everyone said about her.Bu I'm sure she'd want you to enjoy this chinese food with your boyfriend. This stuff was expensive."

I laugh.

He lays his hand on my own."You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah."I nod."I think I may be okay."

He smiles down at the table and resumes eating. I nibble at the small piece of sesame chicken on my fork.

"Do you think anything's changed?"

"Changed?"He says looking up at me."I don't know if I follow you,Daisy."

"Changed. Since-"I poke absently at my food."Since I came back."

He wipes his face off with a napkin and stands walking to his refrigerator and taking two beers from it.

He opens his own and sets one gently down in front of me."Is that what's eatin at you?"

I nod wordlessly.

"Talk to me. I'm all ears."

"I just feel like things are different now that I'm back. It's like nobody can trust me. Everyone's worried the only reason I'm here is because the Hand sent me back to finish the job."

"Well did they?"

"I'm sure if they did I wouldn't have mentioned it."

"That's what everyone who's ever been in a movie where they get brainwashed says."

"And how many of those have you seen?"

"Two."

I laugh.

"If you want my honest opinion, a lot of people are being side eyed at S.H.I.E.L.D. I mean how couldn't there be. Fitz lied for Natasha and Bobbi. He kept Zachariah a secret for Bobbi. Natasha and Bobbi lied about going after Jonas. No one knew where the hell Steve had been for a good month. Clint's gone berserk. There's just so much going on Daisy."Lincoln shakes his head."I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D's very worried about you. You saved Fitz and Zachariah's life just a few weeks ago. That's gotta count for something right?"

"Coulson can't look me in the eye. Sure he acts all giddy and happy around you guys,but he won't talk to me. Every time I go to his office to see if it's a good time to talk about what I did,he's too busy or he's too tired. It's bullshit, Lincoln."

"And you think you being brainwashed and captured against your will had anything to do with that?"

"I wouldn't have been captured if I hadn't gone to see Ward after the attack on Manhattan."

"You loved Ward. You were stupid for going to see him,but there was no way you could have known he would pull something."

"I knew. I knew he would try something. I just didn't think he'd capture me."

"You can't beat yourself up for what you did. Whatever the hell they injected you with is at fault."

"You know,"I say shaking my head."All the injection did was amplify the feelings you had already. It didn't make me feel angry because that's what it wanted. It made me feel angry because that's what I'd felt. All that time I sat in the cell. Everyday I was beaten,all I could think was where the hell is S.H.I.E.L.D. And after where the hell is S.H.I.E.L.D all I kept thinking was you guys weren't coming for me. Coulson had given you the order to leave me with the Hand because I went to see Ward. That was it. I would be with the Hand forever. That's all I could think the entire time I was there."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying the serum only gave me permission to do the things I did. It-"I shake my head feeling nauseous."It amplified what I already felt and it turned me into a monster."I laugh a little,looking up at the ceiling as I feel tears fall down my face."And the worst part about it Lincoln is that I can't forget the things I did. I just-I've tried so hard and I can't. I can't sleep at night. I can't eat. I just-"I shake my head."It doesn't feel right."

"It never does. And I'm sure it probably never will,but you gotta try or else that crap will eat you alive. I've seen it happen too many times."

"I don't know where to start."

"Well throwing that bullshit about S.H.I.E.L.D not trusting away would be a great start."

"It's not that easy."

"That's why you have me."He shifts in his seat,twirling his bottle cap in his fingers."Did you sleep with him?"

I do not respond to him.

"I don't mean it like that. I just wanna know."

"Lincoln-"

"You can be honest with me,Daisy. It's just you and me."

"You know that's a cliche line for when you've been wired."

"I'm not wired. None of this place is. I can show you if you want.

I shake my head.

"Did you? While you were in Japan."He squirms a bit."If you say yes it won't change the things I feel about you. I'll feel like I can trust you more because you told me."

"Lincoln."

"Please. I just want to know."I stand from my seat."You're still supposed to be resting that leg."

"I think I'm going to bed."

He looks down at the floor as if feeling gulity now for asking me about Ward."I'll clean up your food for you."

I nod.

"Should I just go back to S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"No."I say a bit frantically."Come to bed with me. After you clean up."

He smiles."If that's what you want."

I lean down and peck his lips before I limp into my bedroom and lie down hearing Lincoln's voice echo in my ears.

Did you sleep with him?