begin again ;; hiddleswift

1. big changes

Taylor sighed and dropped her bag on the couch, "I'm home." She called out to her husband. It was a day after the three year anniversary of Camri's passing and Taylor was still feeling pretty down. She had managed to have a dream about her daughter's six years old birthday and she woke up in tears. Instead of waking up her husband as she always would when she was upset, she sneaked away to the piano and began to write a song. The paper was tear stained, the words were barely readable, but she loved it. The young woman had just returned from the studio where she recorded the new song. Not that she was going to ever put it on an album, it was one for just her and Tom. 

Normally her husband would come downstairs the second he heard Taylor's car door shut, but he was no where in sight. His car was in the driveway, so he had to be here. "Babe?" She called out, walking through the house. She checked the living room, the kitchen, the office, there was no sign of him so she walked upstairs. As she stepped into the hallway, she could already hear the faint sound of snoring. Smiling to herself, she walked past Camri's old bedroom and straight into their own bedroom. She went over to the bed and instantly curled up right next to her sleeping husband. As she examined his face she noticed that his cheeks had a bit of shine; they were tears. Taylor frowned and reached her finger out, tracing the shiny marks. Just as she did that, he began to stir. 

It must have been a light sleep, because he normally would not wake that easy. Tom wrapped his arms around the figure in front of him and pulled her extra close, kissing her hair. She relaxed against his touch and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Have you been sleeping all day?" Taylor quietly asked, looking up at him. He just shrugged and she bit her lip, "Didn't get much sleep last night either?" She continued. 

"Couldn't sleep last night at all. Where did you go?" Tom opened his eyes and looked down at her, his eyebrows raised.

Taylor released her bottom lip, "I couldn't sleep, either. I slipped away and went to the music room downstairs. Wrote a little song." She replied, playing with her own fingers behind his back. Lately she had been considering bringing up an important conversation to him, one that might change their lives again. She was worried for his reaction though and did not want to upset him.

"A song?" He asked. "You haven't done that in awhile." Tom smiled at her and brought his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. This caused her to smile even more. Although the song was a bit sad, it was amazing and she was proud. 

Since Camri's passing, she hadn't written much. The loss of a loved one can always throw someone into a funk and that's exactly what happened with Taylor. She lost her appetite, she lost her energy, she lost her desire to do anything. Most days she would lay in the bed and watch re-runs of her favorite tv shows. The idea of writing and music seldom crossed her mind and that wasn't normal. About a year after the accident, Taylor was diagnosed with depression and after a few months of taking medicine she started to feel somewhat normal again.

"I know, I'm pretty proud. It felt great." She admitted, her smile still across her face. "It's not ready for sharing yet, so don't get too excited. And it may not be perfect, but I'm rusty." Taylor giggled.

Tom shook his head, "That's alright, just happy to see my girl happy and back to doing what she loves. Hell, you could have written a song about cheese and I would probably think it's the most brilliant thing."

"Cheese?" Taylor tilted her head, a sly smile on her face. "Maybe it is about cheese. Cheese pizza!" She claimed to her husband, a little too excited in the last sentence. 

"Is this your way of telling me that you're hungry?" He asked, raising his eyebrows again. Taylor just smirked and nodded. 

"Starving," she started, "I haven't eaten since eight this morning. Do you have any idea what time it is? Almost five!" She said, matter-of-factly. Tom laughed and started to sit up, stretching his arms up in the air and yawning loudly. Taylor sat up after him and laughed as well, then tossed the covers back and started downstairs. As she walked down the stairs she looked at the photo of Camri hanging just above the landing, a smile still on her face. The two had decided to leave it there to give a little boost to each of their days. Taylor stood and stared at it. 

The little girl was standing in the middle of a sunflower field, her eyes bright and her hair curly. She had on a white dress, one that Taylor picked out even before she was born. Camri's mouth was open and she was giggling. Taylor could remember that moment vividly, she and Tom were making silly faces behind the camera to try and cheer up a grumpy and tired girl. 

"It's still so beautiful, isn't it?" Taylor was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of her husband's voice. She simply turned around and nodded, then turned back around and started towards the kitchen. He followed her closely and went straight to the pantry, "What should we have?" He asked. 

Taylor sat at the island and looked up at him, "I'm thinking some sort of pasta. I've really been wanting that lately." She laughed and he nodded. As he began to make dinner, Taylor looked down at the island and then back up at him quite a few times. The room was silent, the only sound was the fan above the oven. Working up the nerve to tell him what she had been thinking for a few months now was proving to be hard, but she wanted so badly to get it off of her chest. 

After minutes of long silence, she finally gave in. "So," she began and his head snapped up, "I've been thinking lately."

"That can't be good." He replied with a light laugh then turned towards the food again. "What's up?"

Taylor bit her lip and looked at her husband, "I really think we should try for another baby." She nearly blurted this out, but was quiet about it.

It was something he didn't expect to hear from her for awhile longer, she was still hurting and so was he. He bit his lip and turned to face her again, his eyes big and wide without noticing. She looked back at him nervously. "I mean it's no--"

"Babe," He cut her off, "I think that's a good idea. I do I really do. I think it'll be nice." He said. Truthfully, he had wanted another baby for a long time. It wasn't like they were ever going to replace Camri, so he didn't see anything wrong with the idea. With Taylor's depression, he figured he would wait a little while before telling her anything. It had been three years and although he missed his little girl, he was ready to move on and be happy again. Of course there was a fear inside him that the same thing might happen, but it was a freak accident and the chances of it happening again were slim. 

Taylor's mind was racing at this point. It was full of happiness, fear, and confusion. She wanted another baby so badly, but didn't expect her husband to agree so quickly. Another smile crept onto her face and she stood up, "Really? Y-You want another?" She nearly whispered. 

Tom just nodded and smiled back, then walked over to her, "I would absolutely love to have another baby with you. We can have a little family -- again." He whispered the last part and pulled her into a tight hug, his hands gripping her back and his lips attaching to the top of her head. She then pulled away and looked up at him, he looked down at her and kissed her forehead gently, then her nose, then her lips. 

--

[A/N: I'm really pleased with the feedback I got on the prologue! I truthfully didn't expect to get any attention from it! I'm going to try to update this regularly. Things will start picking up soon!]