begin again ;; hiddleswift

7. anxiety

There was a wall of color in front of her and she couldn't focus on just one. Taylor tapped her chin as she examined every shade of every color. It was time to set up the nursery and to her, it was the most important thing. Tom stood a little further down the aisle, searching for a color that he liked. Instead of sticking with pink for a girl, they decided to go for whatever color caught their eyes.

"What do you think of this one?" Taylor turned her head to look at Tom. He was holding up a light shade of purple.

She hummed softly, "Maybe." She turned her attention back to the wall and grabbed a few colors that had caught her eye, then walked over to Tom. "Okay, I have these."

The young woman fanned out the colors. Tom looked down at the selection and nodded, "Why don't we take them home tonight and see what we think?" He raised his eyebrows in question and she answered with a nod.

"That's fine." Taylor spoke quietly and stacked them again then slipped them into her bag. She sighed and looked up at him.

Tom frowned and looked down at her when he heard her sigh, "Are you alright, babe?" He asked with concern obvious in his voice.

She ran her fingers through her hair and nodded, "I'm alright. Just not feeling very well." Taylor took a deep breath and turned to face the wall again.

Today had been a particularly hard one. For some reason everything and everyone had reminded her of Camri. She was having a hard time coping with it, but hesitated to tell Tom.

Tears began to blur her vision when she felt her husband lay a hand on her back. There were quite a few people in the store and she didn't want to break down right there, but the thought of missing Camri was all of the sudden becoming too strong. Taylor turned to look up at Tom and her bottom lip shook slightly, "Can we go, please? I need to get out of here." Her voice was hardly above a whisper.

Tom had seen this in her before, but he hadn't for a very long time. He knew that there was something bothering her, but he didn't bother trying to get it out of her right now. Taylor's face was suddenly slightly drained of color and she was gripping her shirt in her hands.

"C'mon, love." Tom whispered and placed his hand on the small of her back, he needed to get her out of there. Together, they briskly walked through the aisles and slipped out of the store. Taylor was in the lead, desperately in need of getting to the car.

It had been one month since the unexpected passing of Tom and Taylor's daughter, Camri. While Tom had left the house many times in the past month, Taylor had not. She had mostly been wrapped up in the blankets of her large bed and when she wasn't found there, she was in the corner of her late daughters bedroom.

Taylor and Tom's parents had just been dropped off at the airport. They flew out to meet the couple on the same day Camri had passed. Of course, Tom's mother took a little longer to arrive. Instead of making Taylor's first outing a big deal by spending a lot of time shopping or going to see a friend, they decided to stop for lunch.

Unfortunately, the paparazzi had managed to follow them from the airport to the restaurant. Taylor sat still in the car, her eyes glazed over and her heart rate already speeding up. Tom reached over and took her hand. He squeezed it gently and pressed a kiss against her skin. "We don't have to go in if you don't want to. I can take you back home." His voice was quiet and calming, but Taylor hardly noticed. She shook her head and unbuckled her seat belt.

Tom took that as a sign that she was ready to get out and he unbuckled as well. He opened his door, then slipped out before shut it quickly. Taylor stayed still in the car as Tom rushed around to open her door. He grabbed her hand and she stepped out, instantly moving close to him.

Taylor hadn't been on a proper lunch outing since before Camri's accident, so this was overwhelming for her in more ways than one. As they walked towards the door, shouts and screams from the paparazzi got louder by the second.  Tom held his wife indescribably tight and close. They walked  quickly, but suddenly Taylor stopped in her tracks and turned to her husband.

Her eyes were full of worry and anxiety as Tom looked down at her in confusion, "What?" He asked quietly, trying to focus on her as the words of the men with cameras got louder. 

"I want to go home." Taylor spoke barely above a whisper, causing Tom to move closer to her to hear. When he processed what she said his eyes widened and he turned them around instantly. The last thing he wanted was for her to experience a panic attack of some sort in public. 

He took her hand and squeezed it tight, "We're going home."

Tom made sure Taylor was comfortable and buckled in her seat, "All good?" He asked quietly. She still looked pretty upset, but being out of the crowded area had already managed to make her feel one hundred times better. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile with an even smaller nod, "Mm. Let's just go home."

Her husband nodded and leaned forward to press a kiss her hair. He then backed away and shut her door before slipping away and into his own seat. 

The drive home did not take very long and Taylor already felt almost completely better. She just needed to get home, she decided. As she walked upstairs into her bedroom, she heard her husband call her name. He walked into the room behind her, "Are you going to be okay going tonight?"

Later in the evening, Taylor and Tom were scheduled to attend the red carpet of his new movie. It was the one he had done press for earlier and the one that she was so excited to see. Of course she would still be okay with going.

"Of course, babe. I'll be fine." She nodded and rested her hand on her stomach. There was an evident bump now, one that could no longer be hidden even if she tried. This excited the both of them as they were overjoyed to have another baby in their life.

Tom's face lit up at her response and he nodded eagerly, "Perfect." He rested his hand on her arm and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I can't wait to see how beautiful you look." 

Taylor smiled and turned around to walk over to their bed where she sat down and kicked her shoes off, "I can't wait to see how it turns out. I feel like we have been waiting for this movie for ages, ya know?" She giggled softly and he nodded. 

He had gone away for filming just a few weeks before she had found out she was pregnant again, so it had definitely been a long wait considering she was sitting at six months. "It better be perfect after this long wait." Tom added. He knew that editing took awhile, especially for an action movie, but he was proud and so excited to see it. 

"How could it not be perfect? You're in it." Taylor winked and stood up to take off her shirt. It had felt a little tight on her when they were shopping so she was ready to change into something more comfortable. Her tank top was laying on the end of the bed so she picked it up and pulled it on, figuring it'd be easiest to wear since she had to begin getting ready soon anyway. 

Tom gave her a small smile then sat on the bed and stretched his legs out in front of him. He opened his arms wide for his wife and after slipping her uncomfortable jeans off, she snuggled up right in his lap. His arms wrapped tightly around her body and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I love getting to hold you like this."

He really did. One of his favorite things was snuggling with his wife and when she was this comfortable, he really could not help but love it even more. She smiled and hummed softly as if she were agreeing with him. Her eyes fell shut and she took a deep breath. "If you're tired, get some sleep. Okay? I'll wake you when it's time to get ready." Tom had noticed that she shut her eyes and he wasn't going to deny her sleep because he knew that she needed it.

Taylor nodded lightly and crossed her arms over her chest, easily falling into a light sleep.

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A/N: This chapter is kind of short compared to the others, but it's been almost three weeks since I last updated and I felt the need to. Hopefully the next chapter will be up a lot faster, but I hardly have any free time this week because senior year is actually so damn busy and I can't even.